“I owe a lot to Bill O’Reilly,” CBS late-night star Stephen Colbert said at the top of Wednesday’s show, hours after Fox News Channel gave the hook to its primetime star. “I spent over 9 years playing a character based largely on him – and then 12 months in therapy, to de-bloviate myself.”
“So tonight, we at Late Show are proud to issue a statement from Bill O’Reilly’s Conservative Gasbag Stephen Colbert:
“Nation, shame on you! You failed him, you failed Bill O’Relly. You didn’t deserve this great man,” Conservative Gasbag Colbert began.
“What, suddenly sexual harassment is a crime? But that’s the country we live in now…I guess I always knew this day would come. When I first saw Bill on TV, I knew no one could possibly sustain such a broad character for that long.”
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Before Conservative Gasbag Colbert paid tribute to his fallen hero, Actual Colbert also addressed 21st Century Fox’s announcement it was parting ways with O’Reilly amid mounting allegations of sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior.
“It’s not that big of a surprise – Like an old man cornering an intern in the break room,” Actual Colbert observed.
“O’Reilly has been accused of sexual harassment for years,” Colbert noted. “Just yesterday, an African American woman at Fox came forward claiming O’Reilly used to leer at her and call her ‘Hot Chocolate.'”
“I know what you’re saying: ‘That’s really sexist,'” Colbert said. “But remember, it’s also pretty racist.”
Finally, Colbert noted: “In case you’re a fan of sexual harassers who are on TV all the time, you still have Donald Trump.”
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