“Last week, Americas’ one-man white supremacist employment program managed to talk about his dystopian agenda using an indoor voice, without mentioning his electoral college win or deporting anyone from Congress,” Bee said at the top of TBS’s Wednesday night Full Frontal.
“For this astonishing feat, the pundits rained golden compliments down on him in the warmest shower he’s ever had outside of Moscow.” The segment then cut to clips of TV news talking heads foaming over at Trump’s performance.
“Look, I know it’s extraordinary that he learned to read something, finally. I didn’t think he could do it either! But you don’t have to gush like he’s a toddler who just made a boom boom on the big-boy potty,” she scolded.
According to Bee, only one person in all of TV-news punditry wasn’t buying it that night.
Cut to a clip of a black woman in the audience at a CBS News post-speech town hall, complaining: “That’s not the Donald Trump that I’ve seen for the past 30 days. Where is that guy that says what he wants to say, that is loud? I’m gonna look for him on Twitter tomorrow, and see what he really thinks. Great job to the speech writer, but I will see Donald Trump at 12 AM!”
“Shhh! Don’t tell the truth! It sounds biased!” Bee cautioned. Then, she added, “You know, maybe cable news should hire more black women. Except not you, MSNBC! No, you just sweep her out of the way to make room for whichever Roger Ailes harassment survivor pops out of your underground railroad next week.”
“Trump did not long get to enjoy his victory over his own tongue,” Bee regretted.
Enraged by more leaks, this time having to do with Russia and his new Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Trump became “steaming, raging mad.” And, as a nervous nation started to wonder if Tiffany was the only one of “Trump’s acquaintances not talking to the Kremlin, the president did what any strong leader would: hightailed it to Florida faster than a Jewish grandmother in November,” Bee continued.
“Oh, that’s new: white guy shoots himself in the dick, tries to pin it on a black guy. When has that ever happened?” Bee snarked, rhetorically.