UPDATED with video: Stephen Colbert taped his opening monologue shortly after President Donald Trump wrapped his most nuanced performance to date at his very first solo news conference without foreign-dignitary training wheels.
“I’m glad you could be here on this historic evening,” Colbert told his studio audience. “Evidently [Trump] did not even bring his meds with him. It was a robust one hour and 17 minutes long – so beefy you could eat it with a fork, but you’re going to want to use a spoon so you can get every drop of the crazy.”
Trump held the news conference to dispel reports his White House is in chaos. “They said this was totally
his idea. And I totally believe that no one else thought it was a good idea for him to do,” the late night host said.
To his point, Trump assured the reporters in the East Room, and viewers at home, “I inherited a mess.
It’s a mess.”
“No, you inherited a fortune,” Colbert corrected. “We elected a mess.”
Colbert then played a clip of Trump saying that he does not think anyone has done what he has done.
“I don’t often say this Mr. President, but I completely agree with you,” Colbert said.
He also played the bit in which Trump said, “I was given that information; I don’t know” after a reporter corrected Trump’s boast that his electoral college win was the biggest since Ronald Reagan (Obama, Clinton and George H.W. Bush did better).
“How presidential,” Colbert marveled, saying it reminded him of that famous line of President Harry Truman: “I don’t know where it’s supposed to stop; I was given that buck.”
At the newser, Trump finally had addressed rumors about his relationship with Vladimir Putin, saying he thinks the Russian ruler “probably assumes he can’t make a deal with me anymore because, politically, it would be unpopular for a politician to make a deal – I can’t believe I’m saying I’m a politician, but I guess that’s what I am now.”
“There it is,” Colbert said. “We all saw the moment when Donald Trump finally realized he is the President.”
Colbert opened his show revealing that after the news conference, at which Trump accused reporters of hating him and printing fake Russian news to diminish his many accomplishments since taking office, he’d stopped by The Westminster Dog Show to weigh in on that:
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