After stumbling around a bit on Tuesday evening and the next night, when election results took a turn late-night TV had not scripted, Stephen Colbert seemed to find his footing again Thursday:
“President Obama hosted Donald Trump at the White House for the most surprising remake of Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner,” he began. “The First African American president sitting down with a president-elect who was endorsed by the Klan – a guy who spent five years, created his political career, demanding Obama prove where he was born, then denying he did it.”
“Trump will be the first US president to never have held any elected office or served in any branch of the military, he noted. “In fact Donald Trump is so privileged that the first job he ever had to apply for was President of the United States.”
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At one point in his energetic opening monologue, Colbert stopped to catch his breath, explaining, “You’ve got to breathe every so often. This is all fun but I’ve got to take a couple deep breaths every so often, or I’m going to pass out.”
He’s “super-excited” to find out what government position the Trump administration will find for Omarosa, former professional Apprentice villainess and Trump campaign African American outreach chief. Among her outreach efforts, she said, on election night after Sen. Lindsey Graham acknowledged he did not vote for her candidate, “It’s so great our enemies are making themselves clear so that when we get in to the White House, we know where we stand,” adding, “Mr. Trump has a long memory and we’re keeping a list.”
“Wow an enemies list! They went from zero to Nixon in no time flat!” Colbert marveled, saying it’s worth noting given that some late-night hosts have said “one or two things that were critical of Donald Trump.”
But he reasoned, if Omarosa did a sit-down interview, she would not reiterate the comments she made in the heat of Election Day and paint the Trump administration as some “vindictive predator savoring its chance to use the office of the President for payback.”
Cue tape of archived Omarosa in a sit-down interview saying every one of Trump’s critics and detractors would have to “bow down to President Trump,” calling it “the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe.”
“It was Sam Bee and Seth Meyers!” Colbert began to scream. “They’re the ones who said all those horrible things about you! I was just joking the whole time! All hail our glorious leader! Giant hands!”
[Long pause with very quiet studio audience]
“….is what a pussy would say,” Colbert concluded, triggering eruption of applause and “Stephen!” chanting.
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