Dan Rather And His Aphorisms On 2016 Election

If you’re a Democrat, tonight has been rough, to put it mildly. Luckily, there was entertainment to be had despite the slow motion freak out everyone is enjoying, thanks to television news legend Dan Rather. Rather has a particularly folksy way with words, and that was on full display tonight as the election unfolded and Rather weighed in with observations that felt like they could have been uttered by someone puffing on a corn cob pipe while lounging in vestibule. Read on for an account of tonight’s unpredicted and unpredictable events:

Well Election Day has finally come. May the coming hours proceed peacefully and may every vote be counted.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 8, 2016

However this turns out, keep in mind the words of Roosevelt: “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 8, 2016

According to exit polls: Democratic turnout is generally down some from 2012, Republican turnout seems to be generally up.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 8, 2016

Please keep in mind, exit polls can shift faster than a feather in a tornado. As can these early results coming in.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 8, 2016

No matter who you support, I think the anxiety in this country is as nervous as bird dogs in a duck bind.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 8, 2016

The difference between “too close to call” and “too early to call” is the difference between looking for a Xanax and looking for a beer.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

The fact that Georgia is “too close to call” means that the Solid South has gone the way of the VHS player.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

If Clinton wins Florida, this race will go faster than a Hamilton ticket at face value.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

This is what my late Grandmother would call “The Sweet Hour of Prayer” for Presidential candidates. Possible long night, so much at stake.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

The news out of Virginia have the Democrats shaking like a wet dog.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

Trump now leading in Florida and Virginia. If–if–he wins both of those states his hopes for the Presidency will be very much alive.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

Nearing cardiac arrest time for team Clinton. She trails in FL + VA. Early indications in Michigan are enough to give them heebie jeebies.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

Markets are reacting to a potential Trump win. Dow Futures are now down 500 points. World markets also falling.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

This isn’t over yet. But Clinton now must win WI, MI, & PA to have any chance. But, to repeat for emphasis, it is not yet over.

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

If this holds Clinton’s chances are doomed. Yogi Berra: “It ain’t over till it’s over” Rather’s corollary: “but when it’s over it’s over” https://t.co/Q5qjvuYHut

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016

If Trump wins: most stunning, unexpected Prez. election outcome since Truman beat Dewey (1948) & maybe most unexpected in all US history

— Dan Rather (@DanRather) November 9, 2016