Leslie Jones took on the trolls – the internet kind, not the Halloween variety – on NBC’s Saturday Night Live last night, blasting both the idiots who last summer hacked into her computer and the deplorable haters who posted vile racist and sexist insults on her Twitter page.
“I don’t know if you all know this about me,” Jones said during a spirited visit to the Weekend Update desk, “but I ain’t shy. I keep my porn in a folder labeled PORN. If you want to see Leslie Jones naked, just ask.”
Then Jones really toughened up, offering a comic litany of embarrassing moments that prepared her for anything Trolldom has to offer. “I was there when Prince was walking towards me, all smiling happy to see me until he realized I was not Chris Rock.”
“I have spent decades getting roasted by comedians, black comedians at that. The guy who played the crackhead in the movie Friday has a whole hour (just) on my feet. So trust me, at a certain point you stop being embarrassed and start being you, and I have been me for 49 years. The only person who can hack me is me, and my firewall is a crazy bitch with a shovel.” Check it out above.
The other solo routine of the night was host Tom Hanks’ opening monologue, and he took an altogether gentler approach. In his ninth stint as host (Lady Gaga was the musical guest), Hanks is as relaxed and comfortable on the SNL stage as anyone could be, and his opener played off that nicely. Donning a cardigan sweater, Hanks became America’s Dad, literally, offering advice to a troubled child who’s been through some rough going lately.
“Well, you are going to be fine,” Papa Hanks told us all. “Remember when you went through that Depression? You’re gonna be fine. Have you noticed that your complexion has changed, a little darker? Well, that’s natural for a nation of immigrants like yourself. Also, you’re a lot gayer than you used to be. That’s cool.”
Watch the whole dad talk here:
Hanks also featured in a fine outing of the “Black Jeopardy” game show sketch, putting a spin on the bit’s usual punchline of a clueless white contestant. Here, his rednecky Doug somehow managed to keep up with the black slang and cultural differences. Best line, though, goes to Jones’ Shanice. Jeopardy answer: “He says his dog doesn’t bite.” Shanice question: “What is, mm, I don’t know he got teeth don’t he?”
Take a look:
Biggest disappointment of the night? The requisite Sully parody. Hanks re-creates his Miracle on the Hudson pilot but with Hollywood fame gone to his head, and every conversation and pilot announcement turns humblebrag. “Cockpit” is essentially a one-joke bit, but at least Hanks and guest star Alec Baldwin play it Airplane! straight.