Stephen Colbert began his show tonight talking about the footage Time magazine released today of Donald Trump being attacked by a bald eagle in his office during an August photo shoot for a magazine cover on the real estate mogul.
“Donald is getting out of there faster than a Muslim tenant in Trump Tower!” Colbert said of the footage. “And like all things Trump, this thing has rocketed around the world. Now here’s the thing. Everyone’s having a good time with that footage of Trump…”
Out walked Jon Stewart, who is an exec producer of Colbert’s CBS late-night show. He stopped by to make a last-minute pitch to Congress which has a big vote coming up to re-authorize health benefits for first-responders. Stewart earlier this week also “stopped by” Comedy Central’s The Daily Show to pitch 9/11 first-responders health benefits funding and to blast Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who Stewart said was holding up passage of the re-authorization, so as to use it as a political pawn.
Anyway, Colbert tells Stewart to have at it, and he began: “After the sacrifice that our first responders made –”
“BORING!” Colbert interrupted. “I hate to go pro on you here, but you’ve been out of the game for a while,” he tells Stewart. “That’s got no zazz! No one’s going to listen to you unless you Trump it up a bit. The media won’t pay attention to anything at all, unless you are Donald Trump.”
Colbert brings out the Donald Trump wig he says he keeps around, in case he ever decides to say anything important, and transforms Stewart, adding that Trump Orange glow with Cheetos powder.
Stewart tried again: “Tell [Congress] Donald Trump said pull up your big-boy pants and make America great again”…