Lionsgate announced today in the New York Times that after stretching The Hunger Games book trilogy into four movies, it will broaden the franchise even further by building theme parks in the U.S. and China. Given the title is derived from competitions that involve teens and pre-teens pulled forcibly from their homes to kill each other, figuring out the rides is a delicate task. Not that Lionsgate is asking for it, but who better to help than the delicate-minded readers of Deadline?

Here are a couple off-the-cuff suggestions by a comedy writer who will remain nameless but who started by suggesting a Peeta Mellark wooden cutout for ride-height requirements. Possible rides: The Senselessly Killing Teens Monorail; The Arrow Through The Eye Jamboree; The Dubious Acting of Liam Hemsworth Giant Water Slide; The Hunger Games Buffet; It’s A Violent Dystopian Post Apocalyptic World After All; The Murder Your Contemporaries 3D  Experience (ages 4 and up). And, no trip is complete without a visit to Suffocation Land.

This doesn’t even scratch the other Lionsgate/Summit youth franchises The Twilight Saga and The Divergent Series that might inform other rides.