“I blame the moderators,” Colbert said kicking off the segment about “how to conduct a debate unburdened by a shred of respect.”
“It started on the very first question,” he said, referencing the moderators’ opening gag, the Job Interview Humble-brag Question: What’s your greatest weakness and how are you addressing it? “Yes, they opened with the one question no one in history has ever answered honestly,” Colbert marveled.
He gave Ted Cruz the prize for The Most Least answer to that question. Cruz responded he’s not the guy you ask to go grab a beer, but “if you want someone to drive you home, I will get the job done.” Colbert’s suggested new campaign tagline for Cruz: Ted Cruz 2016: Get in the Car.
But Colbert lavished praise on Donald Trump for having, as he’d boasted in his closing statement, “saved us from another hour and a half of that debate,” Colbert gushed. “You have earned my vote, as long as you can negotiate your presidency down from four years to – two hours feels about right.”
Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel, over on ABC, had a slightly different take on the debate comparing it to another day on The View: