John Oliver finally jumped into the chatter about the GOP debate, last night describing it as “a two-hour circus sideshow with an old piece of luggage covered in Cheez Whiz as its center.” The lineup of GOP contenders he dismissed as “the worst season ever of Dancing with the Stars—and I’m very much including the season where David Hasselhoff ejaculated a cha-cha-cha.”
With Jon Stewart retired from late-night analysis of this presidential cycle, it fell to his former fill-in to lay it out: “Let’s not kid ourselves here: This debate was always only going to be about one person, and from the very first question he was the focus of everyone’s attention,” Oliver said. Addressing the jeers from the audience at the top of the debate, when Trump declined to take the pledge he would not run as a third party candidate if he failed to get named to the GOP ticket, Oliver wondered, what the audience had expected. “That couldn’t have been more of a setup for Trump than if the prompt had been, ‘Raise your hand if your daddy left you millions of dollars instead of hugging you’.”
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Oliver snarked a bit about the feud that erupted between Trump and Fox News Channels’ Megyn Kelly during the debate, focusing, like everyone else, on Trump’s comment the next morning: “She starts asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions and, you know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her… wherever.”
Oliver likewise mocked the media’s post-debate vapors:
“Now, if you want to hear more on the Trump/Kelly showdown, you can basically tune in to any news network because it is all they’re fucking talking about. But we are going to move on, and I’ll tell you why: This whole debacle was meaningless. The 2016 election will not depend on this because it’s 457 days away. There will be actual babies born on Election Day 2016 whose parents haven’t even met yet. So everyone pace yourselves.”
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