Stephen Colbert said goodbye to his beard as CBS announced the launch of the show’s website,, the Colbr App for iOS, and the show’s Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Google+ accounts.

“Say what you will about the Internet, I think it’s here to stay!” Colbert said in today’s announcement. “Launching puts me in the same league as, and!”

In his first video for his new late-night show, Colbert explained he had to shave his beard because Tom Selleck’s mustache has a non-compete clause. Selleck’s a nice guy, Colbert says, “but his mustache — such a bitch!” Colbert shaved the facial hair in stages that included the Not-Hitler, and the Half Wolverine.

Last month, an already mustach-less Colbert was a hit with media buyers at his first CBS Upfront presentation, first appearing  via video as he prepared to take a post-Colbert Report trip to India to discover who he really is, having promised he will not play said bloviating faux anchor when he takes over CBS’s Late Show from David Letterman. But, before he gets out the door, he gets sucked into watching CBS on his office TV set. “What?! There’s a CSI: Cyber Now?!” Months later, when CBS CEO Les Moonves came to his office to drag him over to Carnegie Hall for CBS’ Upfront presentation, he wailed, “But I don’t know who the real Stephen Colbert is!”

After the video, Actual Colbert danced out onto the Carnegie Hall stage, and told media buyers, “I like anything crispy, fatty, salty or sweet. Does anyone here sell any products like that?”

“A lot of people have been asking ‘Who is Stephen Colbert?’ Mostly my wife. But I love you … I want to say Denise?,” Colbert continued.  “If someone could Google that, it would be great, before I get home.”

“I know what you want, you want young eyeballs, and not just the kind Rupert Murdoch buys on the black market,” Colbert assured advertisers in the hall.

“Will Stephen Colbert do inclusive sponsorship? Yes, but only in rare instances,” he continued. “Young people trust me because of my integrity – brought to you by Old El Paso Seasoning. Old El Paso: You can really taste the Old.”