Every year at this time TV Academy members remind us that there is no fusion between their souls and those of, well, the rest of us, when they unveil their list of Emmy nominees with its headscratcher snubs. And every year we pay tribute to The Snubbed Ones as word gets out and people start to foam over. This year is a particularly brutal one, owing to the introduction, in an already too crowded TV world, of programming not specifically produced for, you know, television. House Of Cards and to a lesser degree Arrested Development — the exhumed-and-updated drama and comedy series produced for Internet streaming service Netflix — bumped from the list 14 deserving would-be nominees who’d labored on broadcast or cable TV programs. Guaranteed conversation in millions of homes during CBS’s Primetime Emmy Awards broadcast on Sept. 22: “Wait, Kevin Spacey is in a TV show?”
But let’s get started: Who Got Snubbed?
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Tatiana Maslany. The actress who plays not only a con artist, but also her six clones on BBC America’s Orphan Black, started trended this morning when the academy didn’t recognize any one of her seven performances.
Matt Weiner: Once an Emmy darling, he and his Mad Men were completely shut out in the drama writing derby — a first for the AMC period drama. Yes, the academy has actually made us feel bad for Weiner — something we didn’t think possible.
Melissa McCarthy. Nominated for guesting hosting Saturday Night Live, but not for being the only reason to watch CBS’s Mike & Molly? Hope her wildly successful film career is some comfort.
Monica Potter. Shouldn’t a dramatic cancer storyline get an actor a free pass, or at least her name in the game?
Julianna Margulies. Nominated the past three years for her The Good Wife starring role, Margulies goes home empty-handed today — another big blow for broadcast TV.
Rob Lowe. Yes, he wants us to think of him as a nearly-politician, but seriously, his plastic-surgeon turn on Behind the Candelabra was a scene stealer.
Community. It’s probably for the best that the academy has once again evaded its obligation to Community in it usual sickeningly craven way, what with the show’s fired creator Dan Harmon having compared watching the season, on which he was not allowed to participate, to a) “being held down and watching your family get raped on a beach” and b) “flipping through Instagram just watching your girlfriend blow everyone.”
Jon Cryer. Last year the Academy named him Best Comedy Actor to honor his having survived Two And A Half Men‘s Charlie Sheen years. This year the Academy didn’t even invite him to the party. Ditto Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet, who won the Supporting Comedy Actor last year.
Sons Of Anarchy. Much as we’d love to include this critically adored FX series, creator Kurt Sutter probably disqualified himself and his drama series this year when he told Deadline he’d submitted to the TV Academy Season 5 scenes involving the transgender stunner Venus Van Damme, played by Walton Goggins in ass-less chaps, explaining his Emmy-nomination strategy this year was to “kick down the Emmy door any way I fucking can: T-Girls, Best Fake Tits, Most Profound Tongue Biting” adding, “I’m considering Jax in a fur cap and replacing the Harleys with golden unicorns.”And because no Emmy snub-story would be complete without a Sutter tweet: “some surprises with the 2013 emmy noms. but it remains an elitist white club and we are still the dirty white boys you hide in the garage.”
FX dramas. If you want your FX drama to get a nom this year — it needs to be a miniseries.
Boardwalk Empire. After two consecutive best-drama Emmy noms, the Academy declared a prohibition on this HBO period drama.
Portlandia. Hello — It won a Peabody.
Aaron Sorkin. Vendetta by TV critics spills over to the Academy for best drama and writing. Oh well, there’s probably no room on his mantelpiece anyway, with all those West Wing Emmys.
Max Greenfield. Jim Parsons gets nominated again, but not Greenfield as Schmidt – really?
Arrested Development. Guess the Academy felt that anybody who comes back from a 7-year hiatus has had reward enough.
The Good Wife. Overlooked a second consecutive year for best drama last year spells the end of an era for commercial broadcast TV drama.
Steve Buscemi. Crowded out by Netflix.
Sam Waterston. Nominated three times for an Emmy for sleepwalking through Law & Order. When he finally wakes up and delivers a compelling performance – no love.
The Walking Dead. More shocking than a post-apocalytic world is Academy members’ zombie-dramaphobia.
Dexter. After four nominations for best drama series in the past — and four no-wins — Dexter looks to already be dead to the Academy.
The Office. Wait a minute! We thought the Academy handed out Emmy noms like watches to retirees. This snub borders on age discrimination.
Jay Leno. Even non-fans agree this guy delivered an Emmy-worthy Jeykl & Hyde performance with his NBC-bashing/Jimmy Fallon-embracing reactions to news he was being dumped from The Tonight Show yet again.