Refresh for live blogging: The Turner presentation opens with a clip featuring Conan O’Brien, looking like an overweight Tom Hanks in Cast Away in sweats, as he wonders around his house, bored to death. “Daddy, you smell like pee,” his daughter says. Then he gets a call. “My own talk show on TBS? Yes, I’ll do it. Am I in shape? Yes I am.” He then quickly transforms himself into his old self through vigorous exercise. “I’m ready, let’s do this,” he says in the video. Cut to: O’Brien walking out on stage.
“I realized this morning this is my first time back in New York since I was here exactly a year ago at the NBC upfront,” he says.
“If anybody can explain what the fuck happened four months ago? The plot to Lost is more plausible than the last year, it makes more sense.”
“For the last 12 months, I signed on as the host of The Tonight Show, I launched The Tonight Show, I left The Tonight Show, I grew a beard, joined Twitter, launched a nationwide comedy tour, joined the Obama administration as under secretary of the interior, resigned in a sex scandal, perfected the mechanical human heart, and here I am at TBS.”
On his bearded look: “I look like the Brawny paper towel guy before a bone marrow transplant.”
He closed with the song On the Road Again, a number from his live comedy tour. Among the reworked lyrics:
“My own show again, I can’t wait to have my own show again… My own show again on any network even Oxygen….I’d change my sex if I have to… Off the road again, please get me off the road again… I’m sleeping on the bus with 27 men, I’d sell my soul to have my own show again.”
Turner Entertainment Networks president Steve Koonin took a moment to thank NBC for “providing two of the most critically acclaimed shows on TNT and TBS” as shots of Southland and Conan O’Brien appeared behind him. He also touted again Turner’s right to be part of the broadcast upfront week. “We have the reach of broadcast with the power of cable.”
George Lopez looked pretty uncomfortable on stage, recycling jokes he’d already made about the arrival of O’Brien to TBS late-night, including Team LoCo, same-sex Lucy and Desi, “Working an hour late and getting the same pay — a Latino dream come true” and “We have the best hair in late-night.”
Really cool trailer for the new Steve Spielberg-produced alien drama Fallen Skies with the action onscreen enhanced by laser and light show inside the theater.
It is a very old-fashioned presentation, with the stars of all new and returning TNT and TBS series coming out to talk about the shows. Of all series stars doing bland banter onstage, Men of a Certain Age‘s Ray Romano, Andre Braugher and Scott Bakula were the most entertaining. Couple of lines: “What is a man of a certain age,” Romano asks. “That’s you five years ago,” Braugher answers. Also, they’re developing a spinoff “Men of a Certain Weight.” Not super great material but you should’ve seen the rest of the shows.