In Praise Of Hollywood's PoetKnowIt

DHD readers who don’t scrutinize the comments (hard to believe) have been missing one of the more amusing analysts of the Hollywood scene — the PoetKnowIt. After this past week’s depressing news, we all can use some grins. So here are recent gems from the PoetKnowIt. Wish I knew the identity of this gifted guy or gal…

YOU MADE MONEY IN DRESSES AND PUMPS.
BUT THEN YOU PLAYED WRITERS LIKE CHUMPS.
YOUR LIES THEY ALL TRUSTED.
YOUR CHEAP ASS GOT COLD BUSTED.
NOW PAY UP, YOU CROSS-DRESSING HUMP.
(Tyler Perry Studios And WGA Resolve Dispute)
—
POPE AND WEINBERG ARE GONE.
BUT THE JEFF & BEN SHOW GOES ON?
FOR THIS WRECK OF A TRAIN,
I SHOUT THIS REFRAIN:
“PUT A FORK IN THE PEACOCK, IT’S DONE!”
(NBC UNIVERSAL SHAKE-UP!)
—
DAISIES HAS COME TO AN END.
A TERRIBLE AND ARTISTIC SIN.
WHILE WE TEARFULLY MOURN YOU,
I WISH I COULD TOUCH YOU
AND BRING YOU TO LIFE ONCE AGAIN.
(Ax Falls On 3 Shows In ABC Primetime)
—
MRC HAD A PRIMETIME DREAM.
OF A TV CROP THAT WAS THE CREAM.
BUT THIS WOULD-BE HERO,
BROUGHT IN NIELSENS ZEROS.
AND NOW IT’S A FUCK UP SUPREME.
(MRC Fails So Miserably That CW Pulls Plug)
—
CRAIG PLESTIS WAS HIRED BY ZUCKER.
AND TREATED EVERYONE LIKE A MUCKER.
HIS SHOWS WERE ALL CRAPPY.
BIG BEN IS NOT HAPPY.
ADIOS YOU NO-TALENT FUCKER.
(Look Who’s Talking About NBC’s Plestis)
—
MAD MEN BROKE OUT OF THE PACK.
MATT WEINER ADDED AN EMMY TO HIS STACK.
SO HE ASKED FOR A RAISE,
AND WAS COMPLETELY AMAZED,
TO FIND LIONSGATE SMOKING CRACK.
(Lionsgate Execs Look To Replace ‘Mad Men’ Creator Weiner)
—
HE MOLESTED A CHILD IN A FIT.
RAN FROM JUSTICE IN A SNIT.
NOW THE FRENCH REPROBATE,
WANTS BACK IN THE STATES,
NO WAY, YOU SICK PIECE OF SHIT!
(Polanski Files To Dismiss Old Sex Charge)
—
SPIKE LEE SAYS WM MORRIS IS JUNK.
SO HE LEFT THE AGENCY IN A BIG FUNK.
ST. ANNA CRASHED AND BURNED.
AND THE LESSON HE LEARNED?
DON’T FUCK WITH CLINT EASTWOOD, YOU PUNK.
(Spike Lee Leaves Morris For Endeavor)
—
COLIN THE ASS HAD TO GO
NO TEARS WERE SHED FOR HIM THOUGH
NOW IT’S OUR TURN TO SMIRK
YOU EGOTISTICAL JERK
DO LUNCH WITH CHRIS ALBRECHT, YOU SCHMO.
(Colin Callender Exits HBO)
—
PARAMOUNT GOT MARRIED TO A DREAM
GOOD FLICKS ROSE TO THE TOP JUST LIKE CREAM
BUT THE LOVE RAN ITS COURSE
TO A FUCKED UP DIVORCE
NOW STEVEN’S BACK WITH HIS HOME TEAM.
(Paramount & DreamWorks Divorce)
—
HARVEY AND BOB HAD THEIR DAY
BUT THEY SOLD MIRAMAX FOR BIG PAY
TO THE MOUSE THEY WERE SUCKED
NOW THEY ARE ROYALLY FUCKED
AND THE PEOPLE ALL SHOUT HOORAY!
(Harvey Won’t Talk About The Future…)
—
NIKKI FINKE WRITES WITH WISDOM AND WIT.
REPORTING THE NEWS THAT’S LEGIT.
IF YOU’RE ARROGANT AND CRASS,
SHE WILL HUMBLE YOUR ASS.
AND THAT’S WHY DHD IS THE SHIT!
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