For a real laugh riot, read how Steven Seagal thinks his movie career — and I use that term loosely — went into the crapper only because of being linked by the FBI to the Pellicano scandal. Wassup, Hollywood, you don’t think the guy in this photo looks like he’s still a hot action hunk? Let’s thank Los Angeles Times writer Chuck Philips (who clearly expected everyone to sympathize with this has-been’s predicament) for such unintentional hilarity. I particularly enjoyed flackmeister Howard Bragman’s frank assessment on the situation. “Let’s be honest: Steven Seagal was no Harrison Ford when this happened. But these accusations certainly hastened his decline.” As did the double chin. But ain’t karma a bitch? Because the reality is that, back when he still made major money at the box office, Seagal was one nasty piece of work. And still is, by most accounts. I surmise Seagal’s downfall had less to do with the Pellicano scandal and more to do with Hollywood simply saying good riddance to Mike Ovitz’s one-time martial arts teacher. Don’t let the confessional door hit you in the ass on the way out, Steven.