Updated with video: It only took minutes into Stephen Colbert’s first Late Show for him to mention Donald Trump. No surprise there – one month earlier, he’d told TV critics he was “hoping certain people stay in the campaign until September 8,” adding, “I want to do jokes on Donald Trump and I have no venue – right now I’m just dry-Trumping.”
Tonight Colbert began by saying: “Can we talk about the election for a second? I know, as the Late Show host, I have huge responsibilities … I promise you, just like the rest of the media, I will be covering all the presidential candidates who are Donald Trump.”
Colbert reminds us Trump has taken a strong position on Nabisco, which, the candidate says, has closed an Oreo plant in Chicago and announced it’s moving to Mexico. “I love Oreos – I’ll never eat them again!” Trump rants in video of a rally appearance, as Colbert begins to eat an Oreo.
“He claims Mexico is taking our economy, and they’re ripping it in two,” Colbert says as he pulls apart the Oreo. “And they’re scraping out the creamy center, and then they’re dunking it in milk. Oh God! I’ve sort of lost track of my metaphor here,” Colbert says as he polishes off the cookie. “Let’s say the milk is China.”
Trump’s anti-Oreo stance has puts other Republican candidates in a tough spot, “forced to chose between alienating Latino voters and eating a Hydrox,” Colbert says, gagging. He then declared that one Trump gag enough for the broadcast. “OK, maybe one more,” he says as he helps himself to Oreo after Oreo and clips from Donald Trump Moments are shown, ending with the one in which the GOP front-runner had a woman in the audience come up onstage and tug at his hair. “See? What’s on top of his head is actually his,” Colbert says as he shoves another Oreo into his mouth. “Now it’s up to science to decide whether it’s actually hair.”