The President Show’s Donald Trump, aka series creator/EP Anthony Atamunuik, introduced her as “the cockroach of my administration” and “the lone survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre” – a nod to that time she talked on camera to media about that tragic non-existent mass shooting.
Comedy Central had announced a week ago the comic would appear as trusted presidential counselor Conway on the special, in which Trump hosts a telethon to raise money for all the projects he can’t get Congress to fund – like The Wall.
Introducing her to telethon viewers, Atamunuik/Trump described Griffin’s Conway as “an assault on the senses.” She was wearing that spotlight-stealing Trump Revolutionary Wear coat from Gucci that she’d worn to his inauguration.
Conway/Griffin plugged First Daughter’s Ivanka Trump’s clothing line, as Real Conway had done back when the President of the United States was at war with Nordstrom for dropping his favorite daughter’s line. “I just want to say, Mr. Trump, in my capacity as a private citizen, I love the Ivanka Trump line of shoes and bags. They’re perfect for a woman who is a government employee but is not on the clock — kinda like me!”
They played a game, to showcase Conway’s incredible spinning talent. Challenged by Trump to defend Bernie Madoff, Conway shot back, “I find it interesting that the media used the words ‘pyramid scheme.’ Frankly, that’s anti-Semitic” because it trivializes “the terrible suffering of Jewish people at the time of the pharaoh.”
Jeffrey Dahmer was a “foodie” with an “appetite for life” our workforce could use in America, she said. Charles Manson was “a real family man”; O.J. Simpson “a hand glove model and a real lady killer.”
“I could do this in my sleep — if I slept,” Griffin/Conway beamed.
“Give it up for the lady vampire!” Trump crowed.
Griffin’s Conway described Veep Mike Pence, played by EP Peter Grosz, as ” the white turd in a sick kitty’s litter box” and “a crumpled-up bodega bag full of self-loathing mayonnaise.”
“I’ve smoked menthols with more personality than you,” she said, adding, “Oh, I’m sorry — have I made you uncomfortable being a woman who’s not your wife?”
In a black-and-white dream sequences, Trump was confronted by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller and confessed, in exchange for a cheeseburger, to conspiracy, obstruction and collusion. He also confessed, “I made Eric ugly on purpose. Half the crowd of my inauguration were blowup dolls. … I’m jealous of coal miners because he can get away with doing blackface. I can’t read!”
Back to “reality”: The show closed with Trump thanking his base for making the telethon the most successful show in history, as authorities surrounded the White House.
Informed that his lawyer John Dowd had quit, reminded that Attorney General Jeff Sessions had recused himself from Mueller’s investigation and informed that Jared and Ivanka are “home not eating bread” for “the Jewish holiday,” Trump began to rave.
“How did this all happen! I’ve surrounded myself with idiots and criminals!” In German, he delivered a Hitler-esque “my vision for a thousand-year reign will be fulfilled” while Griffin struggled hard not to break character with a smile.
“Mein Fuhrer!” she wailed.
“Spin, Kellyanne! Spin like the wind!” Trump ordered, as authorities chase him around the Oval Office and cuff him.
“It’s pretty simple, Chuck Todd … the FBI is escorting the president to a secure location.”
Then, breaking into Sinclair Media-speak, Conway begins to chant, “This is extremely dangerous for our democracy. This is extremely dangerous for our democracy.”
Griffin’s career has been rising from the ashes of late. Last month, she announced an eight-stop tour of North America as well as a Carnegie Hall date and another at the Kennedy Center. She’s also said she will attend this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner in late April.