President Donald Trump took to Twitter this morning to assure his base that former Veep Joe Biden would “go down fast and hard, crying all the way” if they got into a physical fight, describing Biden as “weak, both mentally and physically.”

Trump is 71; Biden is 75. And this is American politics in 2018: two septuagenarians boasting about beating up each other in an Overcompensating Old Men Smackdown.

Trump tweeted his threat to distract TV news outlets from Biden unveiling today his vision to “put work, and workers, first,” which some see as the beginnings of a White House run in 2020. Mission Accomplished, as George W. Bush would say, given how many headlines there were this morning about Biden’s economic plan, compared to the number of headlines about a promised Trump vs Biden fist fight.

“Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault,” Trump tweeted. “He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don’t threaten people Joe!”

In fairness, Trump was responding to the threat Biden made to him Tuesday while speaking to students at the University of Miami. Biden, blasting Trump for his Access Hollywood tape “grab ’em by the pussy” boast, scoffed, “A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, ‘I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it’.”

“They asked me if I’d like to debate this gentleman, and I said ‘no.’ I said, ‘If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him,” Biden crowed. “I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life,” Biden added. “I’m a pretty damn good athlete. Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room.”

CNN anchor Jake Tapper has noted Biden received five draft deferments for having asthma as a teen, which is when Biden claims he would have taken Trump behind his school gym and beat the tar out of him. Trump likewise got five draft deferments – his were for bone spurs in one of his feet, though he was unable to remember which foot during his campaign, when asked.