UPDATED with video: Stephen Colbert dove in and rolled around happily in the huge news of the day: First Son-In-Law Jared Kushner was denied his security clearance and has lost access to top-secret intelligence.

“How will he fix the Middle East now! He was so close to starting!” Colbert bemoaned.

Shortly before Colbert taped his monologue, everyone at the White House with an interim security clearance, including Kushner, was told they would be downgraded from top-secret to secret. “Which means Kushner will have access to only nine herbs and spices,” Colbert explained.

Trump had not yet commented on Kushner’s demotion. “He was too busy with his main presidential duty: live tweeting Fox News,” CBS’ Late Show host explained.

Trump tweeted a bunch of stuff that had been said by various talking heads on FNC. But the one presidential tweet that really stood out was two words long and in all caps: “WITCH HUNT!”

“He is either really upset about Mueller’s investigation, or he’s taking very strong stand in defense of Ryan Seacrest,” Colbert snarked.

But, despite Trump’s iron-clad “WITCH HUNT!” defense, the congressional Russia investigation chugged along today, the House Intel Committee interviewed White House Communications Director “and stepmom who’s got some changes she wants to make around here” Hope Hicks, Colbert said.

Hicks having been a close adviser of Trump’s since the campaign began, her testimony would afford key insight into various things. But she refused to answer any question about events and conversations that occurred since Trump took office. As one committee member described it to Washington Post, “We got Bannoned.”