Revved up Late Night host Stephen Colbert wasted no time tonight calling cow dung on President Donald J. Trump’s first State of the Union address. First came an adulterated version of the speech, with Trump seeming to say “The state of the union is a mess,” and “The time has come to drain the swamp of my cabinet members.”

“We are alive and barely conscious,” Colbert said at the outset of the live CBS telecast. “Here’s the thing. Going into the evening, the bar for success was pretty low.”

“The night began with a huge surprise,”  he continued. “Trump was able to lift a glass of water with both hands,. Noting Trump’s poignant reference to Americans surviving multiple storms during the past year, Colbert slam-dunked, “and Stormy,” which apparently was a particularly expensive rescue effort, he added.

“He inspired with his soaring words,” Colbert joked, then disputing Trump’s claim that we all live under “one flag.”

“Really?” Colbert wondered, recalling the Nazi and white supremacist banners carried by the President’s supporters last summer in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Appending Trump’s declaration of an end to “the war on beautiful, clean coal,” Colbert added, “If I weren’t burning coal, I might be dating it.”

Among Colbert’s other targets were Trump’s claim of getting tough with our adversaries, noting that the President had indefinitely delayed enacting the bipartisan bill of sanctions against Russia for its interference in the U.S, elections.

“Hi, Vlad!” he waved. And that was just the opening monologue.