Jimmy Kimmel opened his Wednesday late night show pounding Sen. Bill Cassidy for playing the Comedians are Dummies Card on CNN earlier in the day, while trying to defend his indefensible Obamacare repeal and replace plan.

“Last night on the show I took a Senator from Louisiana, Bill Cassidy to task for promising, to my face, that he would oppose any healthcare plan that allowed insurance companies to turn away people with pre-existing conditions, and any healthcare plan that had an annual or lifetime cap on how much they would pay out for medical care,” Kimmel told viewers.

“He said anything he supported would have to pass what he named The Jimmy Kimmel Test – which was fine, it was good. But unfortunately, and puzzlingly, he proposed a bill that would allow states to do all the things he said he would not let them do.

“He made a total about face. Which means he either doesn’t understand his own bill or he lied to me.  It’s as simple as that,” Kimmel charged.

Senator Cassidy and his co-sponsor Lindsay Graham spent the day defending the indefensible. “This morning the Senator sat for an interview with Chris Cuomo of CNN and pulled the ‘all comedians are dummies’ card,” Kimmel charged.

“Oh, I get it. I don’t understand because I’m a talk show host, right?”

Kimmel asked Cassidy to explain which part of Cassidy’s plan he does not understand. “Is it the part where you cut $243 billion from federal health care assistance?  Am I not understanding the part where your state would be allowed to let insurance companies price you out of coverage for having a pre-existing condition? Maybe I don’t understand the part of your bill in which federal funding disappears completely after 2026? Or maybe it was the part where plans are no longer required to pay for essential health benefits like maternity care or pediatric visits?

“Or the part where The American Medical Association, the American College of Physicians, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Hospital Association, the American Cancer Society, the American Diabetes Association, the American Heart Association, Lung Association, Arthritis Foundation, Cystic Fibrosis, ALS, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society and the March of Dimes – among many others – all vehemently oppose your bill?”

“Or could it be, Senator Cassidy, that the problem is that I do understand and you got caught with your GOPenis out? Is that possible? Because it feels like it is.”

The bill Cassidy and Sen. Lindsey Graham unveiled last week is, by many accounts, the worst bill yet to repeal and replace Obamacare.

Kimmel reported he’d received a lot of support during the day from people who care about the subject, and from sick and disabled people worried about their access to health care being cut off.

“But I also got some words that were not so nice, particularly from our friends at Fox & Friends,” Kimmel noted.

He cued up a clip of Brian Kilmeade saying “Sunday’s Emmys may have been the lowest rated in history but that’s not stopping Hollywood elites, like comedian Jimmy Kimmel, from pushing their politics on the rest of the country.”

Kimmel confessed he found this comment particularly annoying because “Brian Kilmeade, whenever I see him, kisses my ass like a little boy meeting Batman.

“Oh he’s such a fan. He’s been to the show; he follows me on Twitter; he asked me to write a blurb for his book – which I did,” Kimmel revealed. “He calls my agent looking for projects. He’s dying to be a member of the Hollywood Elite. The only reason he’s not part of the Hollywood Elite is because nobody will hire him to be one.”

“Brian – you phony little creep,” Kimmel said, addressing Kilmeade in absentia. “That will be my blurb for your next book: Brian Kilmeade is a phony little creep.”

Meanwhile, Kimmel has a theory about President Trump’s desperation to do away with Obamacare. Earlier in the day, Trump tweeted he’d read the bill and it’s great.

“There’s no way President Trump read this bill that he says is great! He just wants to get rid of it because Obama’s name is on it. The Democrats should just rename it Ivankacare – guaranteed he gets on board,” Kimmel snarked.
“Can you imagine Donald Trump actually sitting down to read a health care bill? It’s like trying to imagine a dog doing your taxes.”

Shortly before Kimmel’s monologue played on the East Coast, President Donald Trump got in on the covfefe, insisting Cassidy had not lied to the ABC late-night host: