UPDATED with video: “You can feel the excitement in this room right now….It’s the most magical night of the year because it’s Comey Testimony Eve!” Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert told his audience Wednesday night.
Former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony of his various meetings with President Donald Trump began Wednesday with his “pre-xplosion” of Thursday morning’s prepared remarks to the Senate Intel Committee.
“Tomorrow, bars in the capitol are opening early and offering drink specials like the Covfefe Cocktails…People are calling Comey’s testimony Washington’s Super Bowl. Animal Planet is even airing the Puppy Comey Testimony.”
Colbert began to read Comey’s seven pages of remarks, full of juicy details, because Comey wrote a memo after each of his interactions with Trump.
“Dear Diary: I needed to write down my thoughts immediately, because that guy is so normal,” the late-night host joked.
Comey, Colbert told his viewers, said he first met with Trump on January 6, to let him know about some “salacious intelligence” –“pee pee tape” Colbert translated – explaining he agreed to the meeting alone in order to “minimize potential embarrassment to the President-Elect.”
“Remember this was back when we thought it was possible for him to feel embarrassment,” Colbert reminded.
At one of their meetings, Colbert noted, Comey says Trump had told him he “had nothing to do with Russia, had not been involved with hookers in Russia.”
Comey also described a dinner he had with Trump just after his inauguration, in which he was surprised to discover the two of them were dining alone. That’s when Comey says Trump told him “I expect loyalty” from the director of the FBI.