“When my bosses said,  ‘Come to Upfront and do a song about ad sales,’ I leapt to my feet and said,  ‘Do I have to?’,” Seth MacFarlane said at the top of Fox’s Beacon Theater presentation on Monday. In addition to being a major player for the network on Sunday nights, MacFarlane produces and stars in Fox’s new 9 PM Thursday live-action dramedy, The Orville

MacFarlane was the warm up act for Fox TV Group chairs, who he then introduced, saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the only two people at Fox not being sued: Dana Waldman and Gary Newman.”

 

MacFarlane’s song to advertisers went like this:

SETH’S UPFRONTS SONG

NOW THE NETWORKS TRY TO WOO YOU
“ALL OUR SHOWS ARE HITS” THEY SAID
BUT THEY SAID THE SAME THING LAST YEAR
AND THOSE SHOWS ALL SHIT THE BED

BUT ON FOX WE’VE HAD HIT SERIES
AND I’LL NAME A FEW REAL QUICK
THERE’S “THE MICK” WITH KAITLYN OLSON
PLUS THERE’S “MICK”, “MICK”, “MICK”, AND “MICK”
AND “THE MICK” TOO

OH, AND “THE MICK”

JUST YOU WATCH US KNOCK THE SOCKS
OFF YOUR GODDAMN TV BOX
AND WE’LL DO THE SAME THING NEXT YEAR
IF EVEN THERE’S STILL A FOX

YES THE BROADCAST NETWORK SLATE
OFFERS HITS THAT RESONATE
AND THAT’S A PRETTY SIMPLE CHALLENGE CAUSE A “HIT” IS
0.8

NOW AT FOX OUR REPUTATION
IT COULD USE A LITTLE BUMP
CAUSE ALTHOUGH WE’VE BROUGHT YOU RATINGS
WE ELECTED DONALD TRUMP

BUT IF YOU’RE THINKIN’ ADS ON YOUTUBE
ARE THE WAY TO REACH THE KIDS
JUST REMEMBER YOUR COMMERCIALS
WILL BE SHOWN ON ISIS VIDS

THAT’S NO WAY PAL
TO REACH THE KIDS

ONLY NETWORK ADS WILL DO
SOCIAL PLATFORMS AIN’T FOR YOU
‘CAUSE WHO WANTS THEIR AD PLACED UNDER AN EMOJI… OF A POO?

SO THE NETWORKS ARE THE CHOICE
BUY THEM ADS AND THEN REJOICE
NOW I’LL CLOSE  BECAUSE YOU’RE THINKIN’
“NO ONE CARES, MAN, DO STEWIE’S VOICE”