UPDATED with video: “Like Lincoln huffing paint thinner, this stirring orator invoked an inspiring picture of the country he now leads,” Late Show host Stephen Colbert said hours after President Donald Trump delivered his Inaugural Address. Among Trump’s zippier turns of phrase:

America’s infrastructure has fall into disrepair and decay…

Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities…

Rusted-out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape…

Our young and beautiful students deprived of all knowledge…

And the crime, and the gangs, and the drugs…

American carnage…

“He knows he won, right? Putin must have told him,” Colbert said. And Colbert noted of the day’s festivities, as Trump explained how bad things are, outgoing POTUS and Veep Obama and Joe Biden “had to sit there as helpless as damp Russian mattresses.”

Colbert noted it seemed dark at the U.S. Capitol during the ceremony – either because it was overcast, or because Michelle Obama was throwing so much shade.