Stephen Colbert celebrated Halloween in costume as the spookiest October surprise: FBI director James Comey who, last Friday, reanimated the corpse of the Hillary Clinton email scandal.

“So this is it. Emails that could tip the election in favor of a sexually ravenous, shambling, orange baby man,” Colbert mourned.

“The emails must be explosive! To defy the longstanding policy of the justice department that discussing investigations could taint the results of an election…they must be packed with damning revelations, incontrovertible evidence of malfeasance, abuse of office and unprecedented levels of corruption!”

Except, Comey said, in his letter to Congress, 11 days before Election Day, the FBI had not yet been able to assess the new material to know if any of the 650K emails discovered in the computer used by Huma Abedin’s husband  are significant. “My god, how much boner pill spam does Anthony Weiner get?” Colbert wondered.

“So, to recap here’s what we know. Nothing,” the Late Show host said.

“He’s like a detective who gathers all the suspects in a room and announces: ‘One of the people in this room is a murderer. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have dinner reservations’.”