“They say these VP debates don’t matter and Hillary Clinton had better hope so, because both men tried their hardest but it was  like watching a loaf of white bread get pistol whipped by a jar of mayonnaise,” Stephen Colbert declared during his live edition of Late Show following the Veep debate.”Not a lot of flavor but there was a clear winner.”

Coming into the debate, Colbert noted, we knew almost nothing about Mike Pence and Tim Kaine.

“Tim Kaine has been a mayor, lieutenant governor, governor, and now senator. He also plays harmonica in a band that is actually called the Jugbusters. I assume ‘Junkjigglers’ was not available,” the CBS late-night host snarked.

“Meanwhile, Mike Pence is governor of Indiana who worked as a local talk radio host who described himself as Rush Limbaugh on decaf. I didn’t realize caffeine was the active ingredient in Oxycontin.”

“I’d say Pence’s strong performance bodes well for Trump,” Colbert forecast, “since everyone knows team with best backup quarterback always wins the Super Bowl.”