The final South Park episode before Election Day still gives voters the choice only between candidates Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich. And Donald Trump stand-in Mr. Garrison continues his so-far-unsuccessful campaign to nuke his own campaign, after discovering that even uncontrolled anger and vulgarity did not work.
In a last-ditch move, he appeals to voters to cast their vote, not for his fear-based, xenophobic nostalgia but to take a stand against J.J. Abrams’ latest Star Wars film:
When I started this campaign, I was saying a lot of shit because I was angry. And then I turned that anger into pushing buttons by being more and more outrageous. Slowly, people started paying attention to me, and I guess it made me feel powerful. Well, now the chickens have come home to roost. Sooner or later, we all get exposed. We’re all held accountable for what we say and what we do.
There’s only one thing that matters now. On November 8th, you must vote against me and show the world that you didn’t think the new Star Wars was all that good. When you’re in that voting booth, remember that every vote for Hillary Clinton is a vote that shows the world we agree that The Force Awakens was more like a Happy Days reunion special than a movie. The choice is yours, America. Please make the right one.