Update with video: “Before beginning tonight’s show I need to address a controversy,” Stephen Colbert began last night’s live RNC-week edition of The Late Show.

“Keynote speaker, Melania Trump has been accused of plagiarizing portions of her speech.”

Colbert said he did not think it was Mrs. Trump’s fault that portions of her speech were virtually identical to portions of a speech delivered by Michelle Obama at the DNC in 2008. He thinks speechwriters are at fault for embarrassing the wife of the GOP’s presidential nominee, none of whom had been fired so far as he knew by broadcast time. “If only there were someone in the Trump campaign who enjoyed firing people,” he mulled.

Fortunately, he’d booked Melania Trump to address the controversy:

“My fellow Americans,

“This is truly the best of times; it is the worst of times,” began Mrs. Trump, aka Laura Benanti.

Then she tore though a goodish number of the tweets that launched #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes on its way to Top-Trending Worldwide stardom on the first night of the RNC. She cribbed from Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, from Dr. Seuss, from Paddy Chayevsky’s Network, The Lion King, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, a Kit Kat commercial, a McDonalds ad:

“I did not plagiarize my speech last night. I would never do such a thing. I could not, would not with a goat. I would not, could not on a boat,” she said.

“That is because I learned honesty during my humble upbringing in West Philadelphia, born and raised, and on the playground is where I spent most of my days. So to those who say I stole my speech, I say, ‘Give me a break! Give me  break! Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.

“They may be able to take our lives, but they will never be able to take our freedom. I am mad as hell and I am not going take it anymore! You’ve got to fight for your right to party. Boom goes the dynamite. Hakuna Matata! Bababababa I’m lovin’ it. Oh, and one more thing: Live! from New York! It’s Saturday Night –”