UPDATE with video: Jon Stewart returned to Stephen Colbert’s The Late Show for a second time this week, to remind fans how much they miss him as we’re being gobsmacked by this election cycle. Taking Colbert’s chair behind his desk – and forgetting they were live – he donned a suit jacket and clipped a tie to his chest hair, to talk about Donald Trump’s GOP nomination acceptance speech.
“Well the convention’s over. I thought Donald Trump was going to speak. Ivanka said he was going to come out. She said he was really compassionate and generous. But then this angry groundhog came out and vomited on everybody for an hour,” Stewart began telling Colbert’s wildly enthusiastic Ed Sullivan Theater audience.
“But the Republicans have a clear plan for America. They articulated it throughout the convention:
1. Jail your political opponent.
2. Inject Rudy Giiliani with a speedball and Red Bull enema.
3. Spend the rest of the time scaring the holy bejesus out of everybody.”
Stewart said he was enjoying the gymnastics portion of the program that’s about to come – the contortions that many conservative will now have to do, to embrace Donald J. Trump, “a man who clearly embodies all the things they have for years said that they have hated about Barack Obama.”
Queue up the clips of various Fox News talking heads calling Obama:
– One of the most inexperienced nominees to ever run for President
– One of the most divisive in history
– Notoriously thin-skinned
– A raging narcissist who has no grip on reality.
Speaking of Fox News, he and Colbert celebrated today’s resignation of Fox News chief Roger Ailes who both men mocked for years at Comedy Central.
Colbert kicked off the final night of his CBS late-night show’s live RNC coverage, noting “The Trumpening” was a “historic moment uniting America’s political system, entertainment complex and self-tanner industry.”
The good news about Trump’s acceptance speech?
“America’s still a shining city.”
The bad news?
“The shining is just raging dumpster fires being set by roving bands of angry barbarians coming to kill us all,” Colbert said.
“It was a great performance. It really fired up the room and finally answered the question, ‘What if Frankenstein’s monster was in charge of the angry mob’.”