‘Mr. Trump, I await your lawsuit in the morning,” John Oliver said last night after devoting nearly all of his HBO show – too late, according to polling – to a takedown of the GOP front-runner who has been all but declared the winner of tomorrow’s Super Tuesday voting. Nearly 600 GOP delegates are at stake tomorrow – about a quarter of the total national tally.
In his 22-minute-ish Last Week Tonight report, Oliver dismissed Trump’s Make America Great Again campaign slogan in favor of what he called the more appropriate: “Trump 2016: I Don’t Know if It Brings Stability or Viability, but I Imagine Certain People Feel That.” That line was spoken by his son, Donald Trump Jr. in a deposition for a lawsuit having to do with a condo development in Mexico that bore the Trump name, Oliver explained.
Problem is, even when you can demonstrably prove Trump to be wrong, enthusiastic GOP voters don’t care. “That may be because he has spent decades turning his own name into a brand that’s synonymous with success and quality and made himself the mascot for that brand,” on such TV programs as NBC’s The Apprentice, Oliver said.
While Trump’s name the cornerstone of his brand, it was not always his family name, Oliver notes. Some prescient ancestor changed it from “Drumpf” — which, Oliver said, “is the sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy.”
He continued: “So if you are thinking of voting for Donald Trump, the charismatic guy promising to Make America Great Again, stop and take a moment to imagine how you would feel if you just met a guy named Donald Drumpf, a litigious serial liar with a string of broken business ventures and the support of a former Klan leader who he can’t decide whether or not to condemn. (Trump this morning blamed a faulty earpiece for repeatedly declining to disavow the support of former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke during an interview on Jake Tapper’s CNN Sunday show.)
‘Would you think he would make a good president, or is the spell now somewhat broken?” Oliver said. “That is why tonight I am asking America to Make Donald Drumpf Again.”
Last Week Tonight has filed paperwork to trademark the name “Drumpf,” created the website donaldjdrumpf.com, where you can download the Drumfinator app to replace “Trump” with “Drumpf” wherever it appears in your browser and buy Make Donald Drumpf Again hats which they are selling at cost.
“Don’t be blinded by the magic of his brand,” Oliver cautioned. “Don’t vote for him because he tells it like it is. He’s a bullshit artist. Don’t vote for him because he’s tough. He’s a baby with even smaller fingers. Don’t vote for him because he’s a builder. He’s more of a shitty lifestyle brand.”