One reason we can all hope the Republicans-Got-Talent reality show continues for awhile is that it provides a whetstone for the SNL‘s “Weekend Update” team, who get sharper each week. Last night was the best triple-u yet, thanks to Donald Trump (who is proving — no surprise! — to be his own worst enemy) and Plumber for President wannabe Jeb “Can Fix It” Bush.
“Last week Donald Trump hosted our show and he seemed fine when he was here,” co-anchor Colin Jost said at the top of the segment. “But since then, I think he might have snapped. Because on Thursday, this happened.” There followed a choice selection from Trump’s hour-and-a-half of moonbeam scatting nonsense that might have been mistaken for a nervous breakdown, though it did provide the Republican front-runner with a new campaign slogan in the immortal, “Bing, bing, bong and dat.”
“Ninety-five minutes,” Jost noted, barely able to conceal his admiration. “Ninety-five minutes is a long time to talk. That’s 10 minutes longer than Men In Black II.”
Not to be outdone, co-anchor Michael Che reported that Jeb Bush said that, given the chance, he would go back in time and kill Adolf Hitler as a baby — “leaving Germany in the weak, bumbling hands,” Che noted, “of Adolf’s brother, Jeb Hitler.” (Don’t brainercize too long on what that suggests about W.) The news report also included Pete Davidson’s commentary on the explosive battle over free access to the ladies rooms of Houston, Texas, including his extremely entertaining explication of the male obsession with what actually goes on behind that door. It isn’t, the young married revealed with the wisdom of a battle-vintaged survivor, pretty.