“You decide if #AprilLives or #AprilDies,” Syfy promised viewers after they saw a large-ish bit of space shuttle flotsam careening toward April Wexler, aka Tara Reid, at the end of tonight’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
“Life Or Death? You Decide!” Syfy said, telling viewers if they were anti-tweet voters they also could vote on Sharknado.syfy.com.
“Her fate will be revealed in Sharknado 4 … because we’re not done yet!” the network screeched at the end of tonight’s orgy of bad special effects and campy cameos. That’s called “confirmation.”
As might be expected, the American Pie alum is rooting for April:
If you, like others, thought the Sharknado franchise had jumped the shark last night, its stars are not in agreement. Asked by Jake Tapper on his CNN show The Lead how many editions of Sharknado the American public would swallow, star Ian Ziering suggested Tapper ask Tom Cruise how many Mission Impossible movies he would do.
It’s been nearly two years since its orgy of bad special effects, scenery chewing and dubious plot points known as Sharknado was first foisted on an unsuspecting public, and tonight was Syfy’s third in the series. Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! saw the Sharknado tore down the East Coast, terrorizing Washingtonians already dealing with the horror of Mark Cuban as President of the United States and the horrifying knowledge that VPOTUS Ann Coulter was one terrifying Cuban heartbeat away from the Oval Office.
The Sharknado phenomenon began in July 2013, when an average of 1.4 million people viewed its unveiling — mostly journalists and celebrities who tweeted like maniacs throughout the broadcast. Many of the 312 million or so people in the country who had not watched the Sharknado premiere heard about it through social media: The ecological nightmare caused by global warming triggers a freak weather system that results in a mega tornado chock-a-block with angry sharks who sail through the air attacking innocent children and blondes, and causing to be uttered such lines as, “They took my grandfather, so I really hate sharks.”
But mostly, Sharknado was and is about the tweets. Tonight they included:
Mark Cuban even tweeted he thought his performance would only help his chances of running for election in 2016. When the Cuban-as-POTUS casting in Sharknado 3 was announced, it seemed like, “yeah, right” – until Donald Trump.