Addressing speculation last night about his post-Daily Show plans, Jon Stewart dismissed various scenarios (including “modeling” and rock-stardom) before unveiling the first segment from his new show on C-SPAN2, called HATEWATCH With Jon Stewart. In the segment, he took on anti-sex-trafficking bill currently stalled in the U.S. Senate as Republicans and Democrats bicker over a provision in the bill denying federal aid for abortion. Until the provision came to light, the important bill had near-universal bipartisan support. As Stewart details the parade of sanctimonious, finger-wagging don’t-blame-me speechifying on the Senate floor, he repeatedly lapses into self-mocking, exasperated Daily Show mode until, finally defeated by the confining, brain-freezing dullness that is a C-SPAN hallmark, he solemnly  announces his departure from the program after six minutes.

It was all in jest, of course, or a bad acid dream (though not nearly as brain-freezing as Stewart’s subsequent interview with While We’re Young co-star Amanda Seyfried, who had nothing to say and said it anyway but at least brought along her Australian shepherd to boost the intellectual level of the conversation). At least we now have a pretty good idea of where Stewart won’t be heading anytime soon.