Tina Fey and Amy Poeher did their final No Accountability Opening Monologue at the Golden Globe Awards, welcoming the ballroom full of “despicable minimally talented brats” to their third Globe at-bat, noting they were all gathered to “celebrate the TV shows we know and love as well as all the movies North Korea was okay with.”
They complained that North Korea’s attack on Sony and threats against theater goers had “forced us all to pretend we wanted to see [The Interview], saying North Korea calling the movie “absolutely intolerable” was not the worst review the movie got.
Most zingily, the co-hosts noted George Clooney married Amal Ramzi Alamuddin this year. “Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to [former UN Secretary General] Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza strip,” Fey said. “So tonight, her husband is getting a Lifetime Achievement Award.”
As the audience roared, Clooney graciously bowed from his seat in acknowledgement of the irony. (Both Clooney and his wife were wearing “Je Suis Charlie” signage in support of the Parisian satirical weekly attacked last week by terrorists, leaving 12 dead.
Fey and Poehler steered clear of that breaking news event, moving on to describe the nominated movies:
Selma is about the American civil rights movement that totally worked and now everything’s fine.
Theory of Everything is a great movie that combines two things people love to watch, crippling nerve disease and super complicated math.
Into the Woods is about Cinderella running from her prince, Rapunzel being thrown from a tower for her prince and “Sleeping Beauty just thinking she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby” – which elicited a collective groan from the audience, and enabled the co-hosts to segue into their promised nicks at the former NBC primetime star whose new NBC comedy series got pulled, among other projects, after more women came forward claiming he’d allegedly drugged and assaulted them.
Fey and Poehler both did impressions of Cosby saying he “put the pills in the people” as though it was a Jell-O pudding pop commercial. Since the two had promised ahead of time they were going to go after Cosby, it sliced about 15% off the shock factor. And, because of the events of this week, it won’t be what everyone’s talking about tomorrow morning. That will instead be – weirdly — the traditional HFPA president’s Golden Globe blah, blah, blah, otherwise known as the Walk The Dog Moment of the annual trophy show.
But this year, Theo Kingma brought the house to its feet when he said, “As international journalists we understand the importance of freedom of artistic expression, not only as an integral part of the American fabric but a beacon that is reflected across the globe. Together we will stand united against anyone who would repress free speech, anywhere — from North Korea To Paris.”