UPDATED with video: President Barack Obama booted Stephen Colbert from his The Colbert Report anchor chair tonight at George Washington University, as Colbert was about to do his The WORD segment, in which he makes some political talking point while snarky Obama subtitles/punchlines flash on screen. In honor of the occasion, he upgraded it to The DECREE, the subject of which would be Obamacare, aka To Health In A Hand Basket. Among the highlights:
“Nation, as you know I, Stephen Colbert, have never cared for our president,” Obama said. “The guy is so arrogant, I bet he talks about himself in the third person. But even I have to admit that Obamacare is the law of the land and, while it’s been politically divisive, there are things people from both parties like about Obamacare.”
[Everything But The ‘Obama’, read the on-screen aside.]
“Nearly 7 million signed up last year, and almost 1 million more have signed up in just the past few weeks.”
[So, Half As Popular As Grumpy Cat Video]
“How do you stop something that more and more people are starting to like?” Obama asked.
[Move It To CBS?]
“Well, first off, now that the Republicans control both the House and the Senate, they could pass a bill repealing Obamacare. But the president still has the veto. And, if I know that guy, he’s willing to use it,” Obama said.
“And, even if Republicans somehow did repeal it, they’d have to replace it with their own healthcare plan.”
[Fracking The Elderly?]
“I believe there’s only one surefire way to kill this thing,” Obama speculated.
[Deny It Healthcare]
“We have to make signing up for Obamacare unappealing to young people.”
[Send Request Via LinkedIn]
“Now the new website works, and most young people can get covered for less than a hundred bucks, how’s the president going to get that message out to the kids? He could try to appeal to them directly through a speech or a press conference, but young people don’t watch real news shows like this one.”
[Or Fake Ones Like Fox]
“They watch comedy shows, and I just don’t see the president going on one of those. They’re beneath his dignity,” Obama said.
[But Above His Approval Rating]
Colbert did his Comedy Central show from Washington after hosting the Kennedy Center Honors one night earlier; at that event, he’d joked that “the most powerful and influential person in the world” was seated in the mezzanine — FLOTUS Michelle Obama, who was sitting next to POTUS, which could only mean she has no political aspirations. Last week, Colbert announced he’d booked President Obama for Monday’s special episode of his show, Stephen Colbert Presents: Mr. Colbert Goes To Washington D.C. Ya Later, Legislator: Partisan Is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Colbert Victory Lap, ‘014. This marks the penultimate week of The Colbert Report; he’s heading to CBS to take over Dave Letterman’s gig.
“I cannot overstate how huge this is,” Obama said. “I am so honored to be sitting down with the man who sat down with Bill O’Reilly.”