While we bow to no one in our devotion to Sharknado, we must acknowledge it suffered a shocking lack of vampires. And zombies. Happily, the company that brought us Sharknado, aptly named The Asylum, has rectified at least part of that situation: Sharknado network Syfy announced today that on Saturday, November 9, it will premiere its new movie about a sister and brother team, prospecting for gold in an underwater cave, who accidentally disturb a colony of blood-sucking amphibious predators, aka sea vampires, who can function on land without having to wait for some freakish weather system to wreak havoc on the area — just dim-witted gold-prospecting siblings. It’s called Beast Of The Bering Sea — presumably Vampnado was taken.
Tragically, Jonathan Lipnicki, that cute little kid from Jerry Maguire, plays the brother, and Sharknado’s Cassie Scerbo is returning to Syfy as the sister. Kevin Dobson (Knots Landing) also stars, and your guess is as good as mine as to who, or what. Perhaps more newsworthy, Syfy also announced that two weeks later, it finally will premiere the movie that was supposed to have started it all. Stonados will premiere on the network on Saturday, November 23. It’s about — you know it’s coming — a freak weather system, that causes the hurling of deadly boulders. Which is to say they are deadly boulders that are being hurled — they’re not hurling boulders, which would be a medical drama, on TLC.
Paul Johansson (One Tree Hill, Highlander, The Raven), William B. Davis (The X Files, Continuum) and Thea Gill (Queer As Folk) star in this epic. Syfy originally scheduled Stonados for April 27 – before Sharknado was foisted upon an unsuspecting publi in July. But the Boston Marathon bombing on April 15 caused Syfy to reconsider, especially in light of the flick’s “Boston is about to make history…one last time” tagline. “In light of recent events in Boston, the Syfy Original Movie Stonados has been removed from the schedule,” the network said in a statement at that time.
Related: ‘Sharknado’ Sequel Name Revealed
Syfy changed the way TV is covered in the media forever when it premiered its orgy of bad special effects and even worse acting known as Sharknado in July triggering a media frenzy over the social media reaction to the movie, which was on levels the press said they’d never witnessed before — which is to say the level was smaller than the weekly social media levels for ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars, to which the press pays virtually no attention. That’s probably because Pretty Little Liars is not tweeted in real time, or any time, by OMGIT’SDamonLindelof, by Greg Berlanti, by Mia Farrow, and even by the American Red Cross. When the actual ratings came in, about 312 million of the country’s TV viewing audience had not watched the premiere of Sharknado –– about 1.4 million did – and the press had to do some fast talking to pull off calling that a great number. The repeat a few days later clocked a slightly bigger crowd of 1.9 million. The network soon announced a sequel, and a major retailer that was not going to take the movie, instead ordered three times the number of DVDs it normally takes for a movie.