Nikki Finke's Oscar Live-Snark: Four Hours Of Unfunny Seth MacFarlane; Unnecessary Michelle Obama; 'Argo' Wins Best Picture

Oscars 2013 CoverageI’m live-snarking the 85th Oscars for the outstanding film achievements of 2012 starting at 5:30 PM PT tonight. Comments will open when the show starts inside the Dolby Theatre. Come for the cynicism. Stay for the subversion. Add your opinion. WARNING: Not for the easily offended or ridiculously naive.

To understand the Academy Awards is to understand that Tinseltown is fueled by the green-eyed monster. Envy and spite will determine the winners. Because best productions or performances have nothing to do with the 24 categories awarded tonight. The negatives, not positives, will decide this year’s Oscars. That’s par for the course in Hollywood, where nastiness rules and niceness gets rolled. How else to explain why the horrible Harvey Weinstein is trying for his 3rd straight Best Picture?

Everything in Hollywood is agenda driven. That’s why I always say, when it comes to its biggest awards, what’s important are the scars, not the Oscars. Here’s how to handicap them: just look for whomever is envied most by members of the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences and bet those names probably won’t get called onstage tonight. That’s why few think Steven Spielberg has any real shot at Best Director or his Lincoln at Best Picture. Of course he thinks he deserves both. But when you’ve been moviedom’s legend for seemingly forever, the Academy voters can’t wait to knock you off your pedestal. OK, I’ll say it; Hollywood actually hates Spielberg. And denying him an Oscar is their unsubtle way of showing it.

By contrast, Argo‘s Ben Affleck has been guest of honor at his own pity party ever since the Directors Branch denied him a nomination. So naturally he and his film come into tonight as the favorites. And he has the advantage of having made a movie in which Hollywood types are portrayed as heroic. How often does that happen in real life? Like never. So the Academy voters are congratulating themselves if it wins tonight.

And if Silver Linings Playbook takes Best Picture, it will demonstrate once again that Harvey is Hollywood’s best con artist. Oscar voters used to require intellectual heft, however half-baked, in their Best Picture winners. Which is why even the most deserving comedies almost never get nominated. But Weinstein fooled nearly everybody into thinking that this little film was really about mental illness. Puh-leeze.

So that’s my primer about the 85th Oscars. Recognize that to understand this Hollywood process, you have to think like a voter. Which means being cruel, quirky and cracked. Now let’s begin:

Related: Longest Oscars In Hollywood History? Yawnfest Instead Of Usual Snorefest?
Related: Nikki Finke Live-Snarksing Golden Globes

Uh-oh. Seth MacFarlane opens the show with a lame joke. No one laughs. He does an impression. No one knows who he’s imitating. Does this guy even have any experience doing standup? Obviously not. This is one of the lamest show openings I’ve ever watched. The worst part is that Seth is killing every punchline by laughing over it. And here comes the inevitable Mel Gibson putdown.

This is going to be a loooooong night. “The room is dead,” says one agent from inside the Dolby Theatre.

Thank God, William Shatner (as Capt Kirk) is saying what I’m thinking; “The show is a disaster.” And I agree with that newspaper headline, “Seth MacFarlane Is Worst Oscar Host Ever.”

This is supposed to be an edgy song about “Boobs”. (Though cute when Jennifer Lawrence fist-bumps the air. Damn straight she’s keeping her clothes on.) Ohmygawd, that’s really the Gay Men’s Chorus Of Los Angeles singing about tits.

Why are Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron ballroom-dancing on stage? Is this a thinly disguised house ad for ABC’s Dancing With The Stars? Both stars should fire their publicists.

This show opening is just interminable. It has nothing to do with the movies. It has nothing to do with the Oscars. It’s just an incredibly annoying self-indulgence on the part of MacFarlane and show producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron who have many musicals on their resumes.

But it gets worse. Now MacFarlane is satirizing TV dressed as Sally Field’s The Flying Nun. That’s the point: he’d be a modestly good Emmy host. But let’s get the hook out and drag him off the 85th Oscars.

I can NOT believe the telecast has wasted 17 minutes already on this dreck. Thank god Academy President Hawk Koch can only serve a year. And AMPAS top exec Dawn Hudson should be fired immediately. Presumably they both thought this was riveting stuff. How can everyone associated with tonight have such awful taste in material?

Deadline Comment: ‘These are the best CableACE Awards I have seen in years! Great job Hawk Koch & Dawn Hudson!’

Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz

What a shocker. I don’t think many thought he’d win again, last time for Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds and this time for Django Unchained. With favored Tommy Lee Jones not winning for Lincoln, this is going to be a miserable night for Spielberg et al. What did I tell you?

Best Animated Short Film
PapermanJohn Kahrs

Best Animated Feature Film
BraveMark Andrews and Brenda Chapman

You have to excuse me. That show opening was so lousy, I’m still in a state of shock and dismay.

Tweet from veteran TV critic Tom Shales: “For first time ever, the Oscar show is worse than the Red Carpet crap that preceded it.”

Seth MacFarlane has now officially become Jerry Lewis. The smarmy egotistical Jerry Lewis who can’t sing or dance but thinks he’s just as good as Dean Martin. Oh barf.

Even the Academy Awards audience is now embarrassed for Seth. That half-smile plastered on George Clooney’s face is hiding what he’s really thinking: that MacFarlane needs to walk off the stage for the good of the show now. It’s like all the air has been sucked out of the Oscars. What a disaster.

He really is The Worst Oscar Host Ever. I can’t think of anyone who even comes close.

Deadline Comment: “Chevy Chase goes down in history as a better Oscar host than Seth MacFarlane. And we all know how that turned out.”

I just found out that Channing’s reps didn’t want him doing that dance bit. In fact, he didn’t even tell them he was doing it. He said only that what he was doing was a secret so even they didn’t know anything beyond that it was the opening piece in the show. But Tatum wanted to do it. Bad, bad, bad, idea.

Achievement In Cinematography
Life of Pi - Claudio Miranda

Achievement In Visual Effects
Life of Pi - Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott

Blasting the Jaws soundtrack to shove the Life Of Pi visual effects team offstage shows just how far Spielberg has fallen. Tacky.

Achievement In Costume Design
Anna Karenina – Jacqueline Durran

Achievement In Makeup And Hair
Les Misérables – Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell

OK, here’s what really happened with this tribute to 50 years of James Bond films. (Besides the fact it looks like it was edited with a blunt meat cleaver.) The Academy and the show’s producers hoped to gather together all the living 007 actors. But Sean Connery refused to come because he hates the Broccoli family. Something about how he thinks they cheated him out of money he was owed. Then Pierce Brosnan refused to come because he hates the Broccoli family as well. Something about how he thinks they pulled him from the role too early. Roger Moore was dying to come because, well, he’s a sweetheart. And Daniel Craig would have come because he does what he’s told by the Broccoli family’s Eon Productions whose Bond #23 Skyfall just went through the box office global roof. So there you have it.

The 76-year-old Shirley Bassey gets the first standing ovation of the night. But a couple of clips and one song is all there is to the Bond tribute? Is it coming in waves? More is needed to save this drowning telecast. Even before she sang a note, Shirley brought more real glamour to this year’s Oscars than the previous hour of bland jokes and bad dancing.

Best Live Action Short Film
Curfew - Shawn Christensen

Best Documentary Short Subject
Inocente – Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine

I don’t recall ever seeing the winners in the non-marquee categories look more terrified of the time limit for speeches. What the hell did the Academy threaten? (“No Oscar Swag Bag for you!”)

John Wilkes Booth and Kardashian jokes? Please, somebody, untie Seth’s writers who must be kidnapped in a dark closet somewhere in the building.

Deadline Comment: “Spielberg just texted Lucas with a $50,000 offer to the actor who played Boba Fett if he’d take MacFarlane out for that John Wilkes Booth/Lincoln joke.”

Another Deadline Comment: “If only this Oscars Show was April 14, 1865 at Ford’s Theater. Mr. Lincoln would have walked out early due to boredom and John Wilkes Booth would only have had Seth MacFarlane to contend with.”

Ben Affleck lets slip the truth. “Maybe you can turn it around,” he tells MacFarlane about how bad the show really is.

Best Documentary Feature
Searching for Sugar Man – Malik Bendjelloul and Simon Chinn

So far this feels like the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon. Circa 1966.

The show already is running 3 minutes behind. No wonder Bob Iger looks like he just screened John Carter.

Best Foreign language Film
Amour – Margaret Menegoz, Stefan Arndt, Veit Heiduschka, Michael Katz

Tonight is so embarassing that they need to make Brian Grazer the permanent producer of the Oscars. He saved the show once, he can do it again. Just give Billy Crystal another facelift.

Shameless plug now for the producers’ musical film Chicago during this tribute to the last decade of musical films. But, seriously, wasn’t that the worst decade for musical films ever? I mean, Hairspray? That creaky Chicago routine is exactly why Zadan’s and Meron’s NBC musical Smash is cratering in the ratings.

No snark about my girl Jennifer Hudson. She rules. (Beyonce who?) That Dreamgirls music usually gets me every time although tonight it lacked the power and emotion because it was overproduced. Having the orchestra down the street at the Capitol Building also wasn’t the greatest idea.

“Jennifer Hudson just broke all the wine glasses at the Vanity Fair party,” tweets Steve Martin.

Can Russell Crowe actually hear himself croaking … um, er, singing?

“Oh. We’re up to the gay part of the show,” Bill Maher says via Twitter.

Deadline Comment: “Allen Carr’s soul can now rest. Rob Lowe can hold his head high again.”

It’s been 90 minutes and I’m still waiting for the show to kick into gear. Any gear.

My sources say the mood inside the Dolby Theatre has turned ugly. “The audience is fed up with this self-promoting musicals sequence.  Emails galore asking: ‘WTF’”?

Deadline Comment: “If MacFarlane had any friends in the industry before tonight, he just lost all one of them.” You have a lot of explaining to do for foisting him on us as host, Ari Emanuel.

Even the Ted sequence is beyond redemption. Nothing like losing a worldwide opportunity.

Related: How ‘Ted’ Made It To The Oscars

Achievement In Sound Mixing
Les Misérables – Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes

The show has swung at every hot button issue – gays, blacks, now Jews – and missed by a mile. Nazis? Really? After all the Jews-run-Hollywood jokes in the Ted and Mark Wahlberg segment, there’s a guy in full SS uniform running into the auditorium and screaming, “They’re all gone”, as a way of introducing The Sound Of Music star Christopher Plummer. Yet I just received this text from inside the Dolby: “People all around me like the show a lot. They say best in years.” Which just demonstrates the infinite ways that Hollywood types can fool themselves.

Obviously nobody told MacFarlane’s writers that Plummer hates everything to do with The Sound Of Music. No doubt that’s why he made a short joke at Seth’s expense. Even the presenters have turned on MacFarlane. Are the villagers with pitchforks and torches next?

Achievement In Sound Editing
(Tie) Skyfall – Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers
(Tie) Zero Dark Thirty - Paul N.J. Ottosson

Performance By An Actress In A Supporting Role
Anne Hathaway in Les Misérables

How can Anne Hathaway possible keep faking surprise that she’s won – again? She’d have to be a much better actress than this. So sick of her humble act. Enough already.

Just heard there was a burst bathroom pipe in the Dolby Theatre lobby before the ceremony started. Officials redirected guests to elevators to get them inside. No wonder this year’s Oscars stinks.

I hear show is now 6 minutes over.

Achievement In Film Editing
Argo - William Goldenberg

I just received an email from inside the Dolby explaining that Ben Affleck was furious about the Gigli reference – which explains the looks-that-kill he shot MacFarlane onstage.

Deadline Comment: “They should play this during dental surgery to take patients’ minds off of the pain.”

Seth’s first dig at the “Christian Right” hatred for Hollywood. Normally, I’d say half of America’s TVs just turned the channel. But the reality is that no Red State resident is still watching two hours into the show.

Achievement In Production Design
Lincoln – Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Well, CNN host Piers Morgan likes Seth and tweets: “This is unbelievably, unacceptably, gob-smackingly, hilariously inappropriate. Keep going…” Yet one more reason why Jeff Zucker needs to fire Piers.

Academy should have included MacFarlane’s hosting stint in its ‘In Memoriam’. The Academy usually screws up this segment so let me know who was overlooked. [UPDATE: Missing are Larry Hagman, Andy Griffith, Harry Carey Jr, Ann Rutherford, David R Ellis, Nagisa Oshima, Donna Summer, Susan Tyrrell, Alex Karras, and Gore Vidal – although they earned non-broadcast mentions on the Academy’s website. But Phyllis Diller, Russell Means, Lupe Ontiveros, Robin Sachs, and Jerry Nelson were snubbed even from the Academy’s expanded ‘In Memoriam’ gallery online.] 

Breathy Babs giving breathless tribute to Marvin Hamlisch. I don’t care what anybody says: that dame can sing. I never get tired of this song or Barbra Streisand’s rendition. But I do get sick of her waving those talon-like nails.

This is the point in the Oscar broadcast when I tell you to kill me now.

Clips from last fall’s Governors Awards. Deadline Comment: “And thousands of Dreamworks and Disney employees laugh hysterically at Katzenberg named a humanitarian.”

Here is the evening’s only mildly amusing Seth MacFarlane joke: “In a moment Rex Reed will be out here to give a review of Adele’s performance of Skyfall.”

Are you effing me? There’s yet another shameless Chicago plug by Zadan and Meron?

Here’s an email I received tonight: “The entire show was a Zadan/Meron self promotional exhibition… John Travolta and Hairspray… The boring cast of Chicago presenting… Kristin Chenoweth (she starred in Z/M’s Promises Promises)… McFarlane calling them genius producers on air. (When did that ever happen before?)… This was the worst EVER!!!!!”

Deadline Comment: “Zadan and Meron are doing the Tonys at the Oscars all in attempt to win an Emmy.”

Achievement In Music Written For Motion Pictures (Original Score)
Life Of Pi - Mychael Danna

Achievement In Music Written For Motion Pictures (Original Song)
“Skyfall”  - from Skyfall
Music and Lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth

If one more note is sung, I’m going to trash my iTunes library filled with Kelly Clarkson and other warblers who sound like cats being strangled.

From inside the Dolby: “This isn’t even a good Tonys. Whoever said audience loves it is lying or Seth’s agent. Bar is going to run out of liquor. Not enough seat fillers.”

Deadline Comment: “This is the cruise ship edition of the Oscars… Carnival Cruise… Without power…”

Adapted Screenplay
Argo - Screenplay by Chris Terrio

Original Screenplay
Django Unchained – Written by Quentin Tarantino

Authentic heartfelt moment for Quentin Tarantino giving onstage kudos to both actors and writers. But, of course, the orchestra tried to play him off with the theme to Gone With The Wind. Quentin talked through it.

Achievement In Directing
Life Of Pi – Ang Lee

Toldja that Hollywood hates Spielberg. Even though he’s won before, Ang Lee was thought to be the favorite in this category after Ben Affleck was snubbed by the Directors Branch. At least we now know for sure that Harvey Weinstein couldn’t hack the Academy’s online voting.

Oops, maybe I spoke too soon.

Performance By An Actress In A Leading Role
Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook

Like it would have killed the Academy voters to give the Oscar to the Frenchwoman who turned 86 today? How many more performances does the Amour star have left? Oh well…

Nice shoutouts all night long for CAA.

Performance By An Actor In A Leading Role
Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln

Completes his hat trick. No surprise for this 3-time Best Actor winner. Shocking that Daniel Day-Lewis is making jokes up there. “Three years ago, I’d actually committed to play Margaret Thatcher. And Meryl was Steven’s first choice to play Lincoln.” Daniel also says he had to convince Spielberg not to do Lincoln as a music. Truly the only funny line from tonight. Hey Hollywood: pair this cutup with Melissa McCarthy in yet another derivative odd couple comedy!

Hang on: the end is mercifully near.

As if Hanoi Jane weren’t fuel enough. Oh My God - the Academy actually fans the fire by drafting First Lady Michelle Obama to help present Best Picture from presumably the White House? So unnecessary and inappropriate to inject so much politics into the Oscars yet again. Hollywood will get pilloried by conservative pundits for arranging this payoff for all the campaign donations it gave the President’s reelection campaign. I don’t understand this very obvious attempt to infuriate right-leaning audiences. Clearly the studios only want to sell their movies to only half of America. And here I’d thought Spielberg had overreached at the Golden Globes by bringing Bill Clinton onstage…

Related: How Michelle Obama’s Surprise Appearance Came Together – Video

Best Motion Picture Of The Year
Argo - Grant Heslov, Ben Affleck and George Clooney, Producers

Anticipated but not certain. As I toldja, Hollywood hates Spielberg. (Is that Steven looking pissed even as Ben calls him a genius?) And everyone’s sick of Harvey winning. Affleck’s pity party made for a perfect win. He says, “You can’t hold grudges. It’s hard. But you can’t hold grudges. All that matters is you have to get up.” Hollywood would do well to remember that when the green-eyed monster stalks Oscar voters next year all over again.

Since the show is ending with a “Here To The Losers” song, then Seth should be singing solo. I mean who couldn’t wait for the musical number after Best Picture as the cameras scan the sad faces of all the non-winners.

This wasn’t the longest Academy Awards on record but it was still a 4-hour Oscars including the Red Carpet show – and felt like it. Seth, can I have those hours of my life back? Please at least promise to never, ever, host anything again. Unless it’s the Emmys. And Zadan and Meron, the Tonys called. They want their show back.

And I’m done live-snarking for tonight.

  1. What’s the over/under on when Nikki writes “they just lost half of America” when some lefty Hollywood-type makes a joke that offends the delicate sensibilities of conservatives? I think we’ll see that by 5:47pm PST.

        1. I watched on fast forward and it was boring! I couldn’t bear to watch in real time or have the sound!

          Hollywood is finished without tax breaks from King Celebrity!

          1. @black chick
            That just means viewers are getting dumber by the year and swallowing ANYTHING Hollywood tells them too. Also, if you account for inflation… 2012 was not any better than many years before honey. Just because there were more “dollars” grossed, don’t mean a thing. the price of tickets have double in the past 5-6 years. Learn some basic economics and it gets easier.

      1. They went over the top on this last night. Not only did they have Hanoi Jane, but Moosechel as well… PUKE! Last time for the Oscars and last time I’m going to the movies….bugger off Hollyweird.

      2. When “Sith” fist opened his mouth. I thought, are we back in Berlin in 1927? Then he spoke such bad German, I knew it was not true. Relieved, I turned off the TV.

        1. Depends on the content. Both sides (I hope) still enjoy well done political satire, and when it IS well done, can laugh at themselves.

          However, most political stuff on these award shows is NOT well-done political satire — it’s nothing but thinly guised intellectually dishonest insults — and generally speaking, people don’t hang around while their values and principles are being insulted by people who lack gravitas.

          So, if the joke is something like “the next presenter is John Boehner, who will do this and that and then cry for us in the process”, that’s funny.

          If it’s “the next presenter in John Boehner, who stopped by to give an award before he heads to Alabama to buy a few slaves” that’s intellectually dishonest, mean spirited and quite frankly, exposes the joker as ignorant and not worth giving any more time to.

          Hope that helps.

          1. Well said. I also appreciate Nickki Fink who is very much a realist and may not agree with the other side but is always respectful.
            Is that really asking too much out of Hollywood too?

          2. Zee – One would think it’s NOT too much to ask. But Hollywood has been on the attack against Christians for about three decades now. It used to be (I’m old) that they would take scripts to the Archbishop of NY and Billy Graham and ask them their opinions, because why piss off a large segment of your potential customers?

            That changed at some point. I don’t know if there was a tipping point or it was just evolutionary, but now “Christian right” is on a some list someplace that’s titled “Don’t care if we piss them off or not.”

            Of course, they never take potshots at Jews (Weinstein, Spielberg…any surprise there?) and TODAY, we’re (“we” being Muslims — I’m actually Khadijah) their new best friends that for some reason they want to protect against the mythical “Christian Racism.”

            Sorry, I’m not fooled. As we Muslims grow as an American minority group, our moral beliefs will someday in the near future land us on that “Don’t care if we piss them off or not” list right next to the “Christian right.”

          3. Can we recruit “Kady” to run for office…..any office? The higher, the better. On any ticket, pretty please? The very best “voice crying out in the wilderness” heard in many long years! Bravo? Brava? In either event, you make a formidable argument for sanity. Thanks and congratulations for doing so!

        1. There is no satire against the left, period. It’s always–always!–against the right, as the Hollywood socialists wet themselves openly.

          All these Tinseltown schlong events have the depth of stoner, college party gags. Geez, how many more narcotic jokes can you fit into an evening for the entire globe to be “entertained?” It’s stunning for its myopic derangement.

          It’s actually fabulous to see such leftist debasement and truly appropriate that there’s room for an obama would fit in.

          1. From overseas it surly looks like there is only satire against the right. But mostly done by the right itself, who do their normal thing. I suppose some of its pundits must be leftist u-boats, empowering the left by crazynisation of the right and in the process alienation voters and pushing them away to the left. Only that makes sense.

            Btw. I liked Seth McFarlane roasting that ahh… whattshisname… the angry drugged guy from two and a half men. That was funny. Watching the unbelief in his eye, as one idiot run into Mike Tysons fist to break his nose. The only moment he dropped his panzer.

    1. Sounds like this one’s so bad that you can’t break down those abandoning ship by political affiliations.

          1. I heard that Obama was supposed to come by, but he was too busy picking out matching rings with Reggie Love.

    2. What a bunch of want to be 1%er’s
      When is Amerika going to wake up
      & realize Hollywood Blvd is worse than Wall Street.
      It is the epitome of dumbing down ?

      1. Yes, because it was Hollywood Blvd. that crashed the world economy. (Apologies if your post was supposed to be satire. It can be hard to tell).

          1. Imho H’wood crashed culture a long time ago. When culture is gone everything else is gone too. Hence the state of today’s society!

      1. What happened to her voice? She can’t sing anymore. She gets a standing ovation at end, but it seemed like it was forced, like the audience felt they HAD to do that.

      2. I had to turn my sound down when she came on. I don’t call “screaming” singing. Plus – I loved Seth! He made me laugh out loud – he was much better than any of the acceptance speeches.

    3. This show is so bad I just put on the headphones.. and popped in Lou Reed’s “Metal Machine Music” and turned it up to 30…

    4. I’m a conservative and I much prefer Michelle Obama up there to almost anyone else they could have trotted out. She’s a serious and intelligent person regardless of whether I like her ideas or not. The rest of the people involved, not so much. Great fun this snark fest.

      1. Yeah, you’re a “conservative” the way your Dear Leader Barack “Down Low” Obama is a straight shooter. Sheesh, you liberals are so transparently deceitful. It’s so far below the level of “sophomoric” that you would be embarrassed if you had a shred of dignity.

      2. How is she intelligent?

        Why were real heroes used? Oh right, Hollywood always uses props; that’s what they were. Mrs. Obama has NOTHING to do with Hollywood other than her husband owing them favors. Never in history; yes, they LOVE to make history. Not even President Reagan or Nancy did this and they WERE Hollywood. It literally was the last moment of the night and then they push an Obama on us; they just cant leave them out of anything. I dont care about her announcing the winner (awkward that it was a movie about doing ANYTHING to save members of an Embassy under attack, ie. Benghazi), I thought it was a pathetic move, a pay back to Hollywood. As if a room full of millionaires giving each other gold was enough, they get a public servants wife to join in!

    5. The weird thing about is “Christian-Right” joke is that it didn’t even fit – so, it felt like he was just dying to use it regardless of whether there was a use for it. Harry Potter and Twilight are the biggest movie series ever, so obviously a lot of Christian went to see them. It’s not like they were lightning rods for Christian conservatives. The fact that he threw that comment out when Daniel Radcliff and Boring Face came out was rediculous. It would have made sense if it were Alex Baldwin and some other lefty. And why make a Christian Right joke at all considering who watches the Oscars? Who does he think went to see Ted? A bunch of NASCAR watching, NFL loving, Country Music fans, that’s who.

      1. McFarlane crapped out so badly in his performance, the only thing left for him to do was a desperate attempt to please his target audience of low information and lowest common denominator proglodytes. I actually experienced a high degree of schadenfreude as I watched the pathos of his miserable and fraudulent existence being exposed on the stage for all the world to see.

      2. Daniel Radcliff would take no offense to a joke at the Christian Right’s expense because he is an atheist and far from conservative himself. As for people that go and see Ted, I would think his audience is made up of those that watch Family Guy far more than Nascar. He target audience is the pot-smoking college kids, not country music listening conservatives.

      3. And why do we not see jokes about american jews? You know the slavers who brought 50-60% of the black slaves into america on their jewish ships based out of Boston and NYC. Why do we not see a Hollywood movie about NYC where in the 1720s 1/3 were owned, usually by jewish families. The lie of the american jew and the lie of Hollywood is obvious. Never forget the money made by “Pretty Woman” helped Arnon Milchan sell america out.

    6. I’ll tell when we SHOULD have been offended. When we allow our academy to be WALKED OVER
      by a foreign power. The politburo has ZERO right to interfere in our awards institutions. This was not Ang’s year. I’m sorry, we all know it wasn’t.

    7. Perhaps they should get Christopher Plummer to host next year. He was classy, witty and one of the few who came across as authentic and heartfelt. I fast-forwarded to get through the host’s appearances. Here’s a though, have the host open with a 2 to 3 minute skit and move things along. No need for that mindless, way too long, and self-centered beginning.

    1. This is what happens when you let the creator of Family Guy host the Oscars. You get the Kids Choice Awards.

      1. Lol! What is the Academy thinking? The Awards should celebrate the magic that is the movies. Instead, it focuses solely on the 1% in front of the camera talent, trotting them out as presenters and making them the supply of endless tasteless jokes at their expense. Take out the host montage and have more bits that show you what happens behind the camera to make the magic. Stop playing so loudly over the acceptance speeches of people who really made the movies.

    2. Same here. I just couldn’t watch anymore. But I kept coming back and Capt. Kirk was still going on. I am watching … Colombo on MeTv :}

    1. really. you people take yourselves, and your craft which I respect, WAY TOO SERIOUSLY! Not all his jokes hit but he just had fun….knew when he bombed and called himself out for it….and the boobs things was a great send up that you have to admit….nobody before him would have ever tried. lighten up.

  2. Seth MacFarlane? Really? What……Yakov Smirnoff was to busy? Carlos Mencia was on vcation? Carrot top was auditioning for Broadway? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze.

      1. I thought Seth did a good job. Its not like its an exciting event – its actors awarding themselves. Remember how painful James Franco was.

    1. “Is this a new low?” It wasn’t till they kneeled and kissed the ring by having Moochelle on the damned show.

  3. Hey – u r correct its still a boring opening / The Flying Nun should fly into space with William Schater & Seth – they can be my guest..

  4. Suxxxxxxx so far – boobs song funny but the rest….meh…MacFarlane not ready for primetime. My only question- will he sing and dance with Snow White at some point tonight?

    1. “pretty decent”? compared to, say, an STD?

      …this is why “Family Guy” will never be “The Simpsons”

    1. Yeah, it was so funny that I almost turned the teevee off. Unfortunately I was dumb enough to wait around through the Sally Fields and Captain Kirk schlock and then turned it off. Usually I like to hang around and be amused by some of the witty stuff that comes from the host – not this time. That was POS stupid.

  5. Seth is a total disaster already, the Shatner from the future bit is moronic and all the stupid songs within this idiotic bit are horrible. The producers should have realized this opening was going to be a fiasco and they are to blame for not cutting it. Seth is the emperor with no clothes tonight and he really will be the worst host ever if this keeps up.

  6. “We saw your boobs”. A fitting opening song for a creatively bankrupt And perpetually adolescent dusty industry.

    1. Thank you. You express my sentiments exactly.

      I turned the sound off and read a book until the big awards when they had Seth on a leash backstage.

  7. Yikes. I think because my standards for this show are so low that even this really bad opening doesn’t affect me.

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