Luke Y Thompson is covering the Con for DHD with an emphasis on Hollywood:

I don’t normally watch a lot of TV – even had the cable disconnected a while back to save time and money. But I do watch LOST, and have been hooked since Season One. Now that it’s ending, I’ll maybe have to find something else.

On the way in to the panel, we’re given pencils promoting “lostuniversity.org.” I don’t have time to check that out fully, but if you’re reading this, you can check it out and get back to me in comments.

A teaser of the print ad for the final season comes up, featuring the usual characters in silhouette – but more than usual, I think, including some who look vaguely like former cast members. We are promptly shown a fake TV ad for Lost University, which advertises classes like Korean and Physics of Time Travel. The mascot, of course, is a polar bear. An angry one.

After this a fake ‘80s TV show called “Mysteries of the Universe,”in which an over-dramatic voice-over intones somberly about a secret society known as the Dharma Initiative, getting most of the details wrong. It seems this will continue as a 5-part web-series on ABC.com.

Then a montage of last season set to Muse, and Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof come out, for their final LOST panel…at least of this kind (old cult TV shows never die at Comic-Con, don’cha know). They thank the fans for all the support, and in tribute show some of their favorite fan stuff – videos of Lost parties, a Muppet Babies clip with LOST audio (Jack is Kermit, Charlie is Rowlf), a comedic animation scored to Weird Al polka music, a stop-motion skit using toys in which LOST action figures discover the New York Yankees and shoot them, a scene with Jack on the phone that has been re-edited to sound like he’s on the line with Microsoft customer service, and finally the inevitable clever edit of “Brokeback Lost,” with Sawyer and Jack.

Cuse and Lindelof say the question they are asked the most is if they are making it all up as they go along. To prove that they aren’t, they say they have the final scene written. Lindelof pulls one page out of his pocket, and Cuse does likewise from a gun holster on his ankle. They bring out a box with two locks, for which each has one key. They lock the script in the box, promising to open it on The Jimmy Kimmel show the night of the finale, and read it aloud to prove they had it written in advance.

Now on to fan questions, to which Lindelof promises “we will be as honest and forthcoming as we never were.”

Question: How will season six be like Season One, as hinted? They want it to feel like it’s closing a loop. It will be as unpredictable and urgent as season one, and feature characters that haven’t been seen since Season One.

An obvious plant of a crazy fan is next [actor/comedian Paul Scheer and this was obviously shtick]. He says “Every time I get on a plane, I want it to crash!” Has brought a black velvet painting of Cuse and Lindelof being hugged by a polar bear, and says he has more at www.damoncarltonandapolarbear.com. Again, y’all check that out and see if works.

Cuse says he’ll put that painting next to the one of Dharma sharks playing poker.

A female Faraday fan asks if there’s any chance of seeing Faraday happily married with children – and will it have anything to do with nanobots? Cuse replies “Faraday is dead, so unless you like zombie weddings…” Lindelof adds that Faraday will be on the show this season in some way.

Time travel is over, flash-forwards are over, next season it’ll be something different.

Contest to create a theme song – they play the winner over a montage that makes it look like an ‘80s action show, ending with the credit “and Terry O’Quinn as ???”

Followed by an ad for Oceanic Airlines touting their perfect 30-year safety record.

Then an ad for Mr. Cluck’s chicken, featuring Hurley in Australian gear, promoting their new Outback Chicken special. After that, and America’s Most Wanted episode featuring Kate, which implies she may not have killed her stepfather after all, but a different victim.

Next question from the audience – and it’s Jorge Garcia (Hurley).

Lindelof: “If you had a question, you could have just called our office.”
Garcia: “Yeah, I did call. You guys never called me back.”

Garcia asks if the fake commercial with him that they just showed mean that Jack’s plan with the nuclear bomb worked…and if so, does that mean the last five seasons never happened, and wouldn’t that be a cheat?

Lindelof: “Trust us.”
Garcia: “Last time I trusted you guys, you said that Nikki and Paulo were gonna be awesome.”

He asks if all the questions will be answered. Lindelof says all the important ones. Garcia then asks about Shannon’s inhaler in season 1 – what happened to it.

“Oh, for crying out loud, Jorge, one question per person!” Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus, is now at the mic.

Garcia insists that asking questions is he way of doing research for the role. Emerson: “Oh, is THAT what you do? I had forgotten about the VAST gulf between you and the character you play!”

Garcia: “Go ahead and ask your question.”
Emerson: “No, you go first and we’ll wait. Why should it be any different than it is on the set?”

Garcia says Emerson is just jealous because he wishes he had the role of Hurley, and tried out for it though the part was cast. Emerson says he thinks everyone here knows that his part started as a guest role and became a regular role “written for ME.”

Garcia: “Yeah, as a consolation.”
Emerson: “When would I stoop so low as to play a character as broad as Hurley?”
Garcia: “You were broad in your audition.”
Emerson: “I never auditioned.”

Role tape, allegedly from 2004. Emerson in a bandana auditioning for the role of Hurley, and wildly overplaying. Funny stuff. Asked to do a scene where he’s getting squeamish about blood, he rolls on the floor and starts fake-puking.

Lights back up. Garcia and Emerson are now on the stage.

Fan: Will we get a Richard Alpert flashback, and will it be coincident to the arrival of the Black Rock? Cuse says we will see his backstory before the show ends. Lindelof adds that it’s quite complicated.

Fan: “I cried like a sissy when Juliette fell…I need to know if she’s okay, and if not, can you make her okay?”

Lindelof says it depends if Jack’s plan worked…but Elizabeth Mitchell is in the final season (though he pointedly didn’t say as Juliette…slip of the tongue, or clue?)

Next question is from Bob Stencil a regular character at the con who dresses like a ‘70s detective – he starts talking about the paradoxes of time travel, gets worked up, and suddenly begins a fake nosebleed. “Hold on, I need my constant.” He pulls out a Dharma beer and drinks it. Cuse and Lindelof enjoy this guy, and have made him a custom Dharma shirt.

Fan: Is Jacob’s “friend” on the beach named Esau? Emerson answers “That might be too much, but I like the way you’re mind is working.”

Fan: Does Nestor Carbonell wear eyeliner before he comes on set? Cuse says this is a common question, and since Nestor is backstage, they’ll ask him. Onscreen, we cut to the green room. Nestor is staring into a mirror, applying eyeliner and saying, to his reflection, “Richard Alpert’s not immortal – you are.” Then he gets mad about the eyeliner shade. “This is cobalt! I only use onyx!” He sees the cameraman and hits the camera.

A fan who looks like Hurley asks where the food drop came from in season 2. Garcia answers “It comes from planes!” Lindelof suggests that the question will be answered this season.

Another Hurley lookalike asks how big a role the Dharma Initiative will have this season? Cuse says not a big role, “we’re moving on to other things.”

Fan says he has a question with a yes or no answer. Cuse quips “probably not!” Asks has Jacob ever appeared as anyone other than himself to our castaways? The answer is no.

Next, a montage of Sawyer scenes set to “Slow Ride” plays, and Josh Holloway comes out, basically in character.

Josh: “I got a question. You know what this is?”
Lindelof: “It appears to be some sort of Taser device.”
Josh: “You’re smarter than you look.” He tases Lindelof and takes the key to the secret box. Then dips his hand in a water jug.
“Don’t let the townspeople turn against you, Frankenstein!” he warns Cuse. Cuse opens the box. Holloway takes the “final scene.” Looks at it. Squints.
Emerson: “Oh my god, you don’t know how to read, do you?”
Josh: “I left my glasses on the island!”
Emerson takes it, starts reading. It soon becomes apparent it’s a script for HEROES.
Emerson: “What the fuck is this?”

Finally, we go to a montage of all the people who have died on LOST, set to Boyz II Men’s “So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” It starts with the guy who got sucked into the engine in episode 1, and continues up to Charlie. Curiously…not Locke. Seems a significant omission.

Lights come up, and now Dominic Monagahan is onstage too. Takes a bow. Everyone thanks the fans, and we get played out to a Hawaiian-style cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”