Those Letterman scribes are at it again.
From co-head writer Eric Stangel comes this “strike perspective” to illustrate how the world has changed since the strike started on November 5th:
“…A gallon of gasoline was just $3.13.
…Britney Spears did not speak with an unusual fake British accent.
…There was no such thing as Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky.
…Dennis Kucinich still thought he had a chance to win the Presidency… or even a Primary.
…Jessica Simpson was just an airhead, not an airhead bad luck charm for the Dallas Cowboys.
…I was not friends with Justine Bateman.
…Jamie Lynn Spears was considered “The Normal One”.
…We all thought Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda had the perfect marriage.
…There were no mysterious deaths which had anything to do with Mary-Kate Olsen.
We were so innocent then. If only we knew then what we know now (Justine, call me).”
And Late Show writer (and strike captain) Bill Scheft has come up with a “new streamlined process” to move the WGA-mogul talks along. “Not only are the solutions creative, but scientific. Very simply, if Nikki Finke’s phlegm turns green, the deal is a go. Brown, it’s el paso.” Here’s Scheft’s complete color chart.
Nikki Finke Phlegm Color Proposed Deal
Green Go (or Good)
Brown Shitty (or Bad)
Yellow Proceed with caution
White Strike ends Memorial Day Weekend