As a way-too-cynical observer of Hollywood, I’ve always wondered why HBO’s Entourage isn’t, well, meaner. Seasons #1 and #2 were downright tame. The Hollywood I know and love is far more crappy than anything the series has shown yet. And don’t get me started on the character of Ari: he bears as much resemblance to agents I know as the cleaned-up Henry Rollins of today does to the down-‘n’-dirty Henry Rollins of yore. And “Let’s hug it out, bitch” seems so lame two years later. Guys, you need a new catchphrase. Call me a cockeyed-optimist (no one ever does), but I have higher hopes for more realism on Entourage‘s Season #3 which bows next Sunday for 13 episodes. Not only are the five Hollywood talent agency heads featured (albeit fictional), but also the real Joel Silver and a fake Jeffrey Katzenberg. If you want to know more detailed spoilers, keep reading. Otherwise, you’ve been duly warned:

The new season picks up with Aquaman already shot and about to open. But, uh-oh, there are rolling blackouts around Los Angeles that threaten box office. Vince is now an international superstar; as a result, he scores even hotter girls since he’s come out of his Mandy Moore-inspired funk by hitting single life hard. Ari opens his own boutique agency and develops a gambling problem. Eric gets serious with Terence’s daughter Sloan, but also engages in a rather promising ménage à trois. Drama gets a TV gig. Turtle gets a girlfriend. There’s also a lot of family in Season #3: we meet Eric’s and Turtle’s mothers. (No, Turtle wasn’t hatched.) A new homeboy from the old neighborhood joins Vince’s entourage. Shauna works pregnant. Ari is unnerved by his daughter dating a teen idol, but that may be payback for the agent’s hazing of even more put-upon Lloyd. I’m looking forward to the scene between Ari and “The Five Families” i.e. the top five agency heads. Here’s the casting sheet on this: “Male or female: Must be 35-50. These execs run the town’s five biggest and most influential agencies. Smart, sophisticated, rich, slick and savvy, and very tough. A couple of lines apiece.”

There’s also a sexy and sophisticated female superagent Amanda (played by Carla Cugino) trying to steal Vince from Ari, and she plays dirty by sleeping with her prey. I’m hearing Vince pulls a prank on a Katzenberg clone by stealing a Shrek-like doll from his home. There’s a road trip to Vegas, plus a visit to a Six Flags/Magic Mountain-type amusement park to christen the new Aquaman ride. Cameos this season include Mercedes Ruehl and Patti D’Arbanville (as Entourage moms), Kobe Bryant, James Woods, Nora Dunn, Bruno Kirby and, again, James Cameron.